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After a Month Long Maintenance, I'm Going Down Again!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Thought I'd share a dinner photo. It is two pieces of grilled tilapia with fresh spinach I sautéed with onions, almond slivers, ginger and vinegar. This dinner came in at 358 Calories and was so, so satisfying. I cheated and got on the scale today. I lost another 1.4 pounds. Tomorrow I'll see if the week's total is any higher. I am ok with that loss, but had to work very hard for it. Well, harder than I've had to work for the last 65 pounds or so. I am one pound away from losing 70 pounds. I shake my head, I can't believe it some days. I still need to lose about fifty to be where I want to be for maintenance. I am still reaching for 1600 calories a day, but come in around 1700 to 1850 a night. I am exercising twice as much as I used to. I love the way this makes me feel, but I sense life trying to crowd in on it, so must, must, MUST make it a priority! If I do not schedule it and determine to do it, forget about it, so I fight to keep it in.

Some of this is due to preconditioned thinking, some truly life, all in all, I pray God's strength to the situation until a new, solid habit is formed because I know he wants me to take excellent care of my health. Water is still on the list, but every day fluctuates, depending on my mood. I think I know I can get away with not drinking it and lose, so I wobble here. It may be the last piece of the puzzle that comes together. I am ok with that because I am not going to be mean to myself as I go through. I have done that for enough years of my life. Time to be nice to me, as I am the only me I have, and I have to spend time with "me" more than anyone or thing else. This is true for all of us of course.

All in all, I am very happy I found a good spot again to resume weight loss. I know some folks have to eat even less food than that to lose or maintain, so I will not complain. Although some days I am a little hungry, I know that is because my stomach, mind and emotions all need to adjust to the new caloric intake. They are all used to having more or being numbed by the extra goodies. Facing pains and hurts without food, I suppose, is the most challenging for me, but I just keep looking to Jesus, and he keeps showing me the truth, and so I keep not using food to numb or dull my senses.

I am so thankful for God's hand in this loss. Without him, I know I would see the weight "loss" as a grief, instead of a victory. I know that may sound strange, but when you lose the comfort of overindulging, something in you feels sorry for yourself so I must go to God to correct that thinking, to realize I can stand without it. I can muster enough strength to handle tough emotions in a healthful, helpful way. I believe if I can truly understand that, I will win this battle of the bulge, and since God is no respecter of persons, I believe that he will help anyone willing to see and recognize their deeper needs too. I would have never imagined in a million years that God could satisfy me more than a piece of cake or hamburger loaded with the works or a two liter of soda, but I have tested him. I have found that he works into those aches and pains much, much better, and when he is done with them, they no longer hurt. Now I don't have to medicate them because they are gone. He has indeed set me free, He continues to set me free

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