Thursday, August 22, 2013
Thank you spark-friends for encouraging me to blog about my grief and for your continued support and encouragement.
Half way through my degree in Psychology - I had a bit of a talk with myself (yes, it is OK to have a conversation with yourself sometimes), and decided to embrace my grief for my dad. There are a few stages to grief - one is denial - I refuse to live in denial - to honor my dad, I want to feel everything that I am feeling right now - the raw pain of his being gone from my life, the memories of everything he did for me, the memories of childhood family life, even the 12 years he was in and out of my life (he missed both of my weddings), the last 20 years of him spending time fishing, camping, gardening, building, painting,ect - and then his decline of health and the care I gave to him. I want to remember it all and work through the process. Two of my professors tell me that this process can take up to 6 months because I was involved with dad daily. Not that my grief will suddenly end, but that it may take that long to work through the process of the gut wretching raw pain.
This is where dad is laid to rest. He had the most beautiful service at the Great Lakes National Cemetary in Grand Blanc Michigan.
It is so peaceful and quiet - the flags are flying high with one (the biggest flag pole in the center) at half staff to honor whomever is having a funeral.
Dad got his 21 gun salute - which he wanted - I fought for that! The funeral director told us there was no guarantee - I told her that it was one thing my dad wanted most of all - as he served in two military branches. I told her to please let me know if she could not make it happen, as I had other resources. She followed through for my dad.
Dad served in the Army during peace time and the Air Force during the Korean War.
I miss him very much and I love him more!
I will continue to work through my loss of him.
Thank you for reading my blogs and offering me your support.