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Embracing grief...pics of Military Cenetary


Thursday, August 22, 2013

Thank you spark-friends for encouraging me to blog about my grief and for your continued support and encouragement.

Half way through my degree in Psychology - I had a bit of a talk with myself (yes, it is OK to have a conversation with yourself sometimes), and decided to embrace my grief for my dad. There are a few stages to grief - one is denial - I refuse to live in denial - to honor my dad, I want to feel everything that I am feeling right now - the raw pain of his being gone from my life, the memories of everything he did for me, the memories of childhood family life, even the 12 years he was in and out of my life (he missed both of my weddings), the last 20 years of him spending time fishing, camping, gardening, building, painting,ect - and then his decline of health and the care I gave to him. I want to remember it all and work through the process. Two of my professors tell me that this process can take up to 6 months because I was involved with dad daily. Not that my grief will suddenly end, but that it may take that long to work through the process of the gut wretching raw pain.

This is where dad is laid to rest. He had the most beautiful service at the Great Lakes National Cemetary in Grand Blanc Michigan.











It is so peaceful and quiet - the flags are flying high with one (the biggest flag pole in the center) at half staff to honor whomever is having a funeral.

Dad got his 21 gun salute - which he wanted - I fought for that! The funeral director told us there was no guarantee - I told her that it was one thing my dad wanted most of all - as he served in two military branches. I told her to please let me know if she could not make it happen, as I had other resources. She followed through for my dad.
Dad served in the Army during peace time and the Air Force during the Korean War.





I miss him very much and I love him more!
I will continue to work through my loss of him.
Thank you for reading my blogs and offering me your support.
Jean emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KELSPRETTYGIRL 8/27/2013 2:34AM

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STRINGI719 8/26/2013 10:16AM

    Prayer for your comfort and peace...
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WENDYJM4 8/24/2013 10:28PM

    a lovely resting place for your father. emoticon

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CBEVNOW 8/24/2013 12:06AM

    thinking of you. Love the pictures, a very handsome man.
C- hugs to you

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JOANNS4 8/23/2013 7:04PM

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Comment edited on: 8/23/2013 7:04:59 PM

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CHARMIN944 8/23/2013 10:01AM

    I love the photos of your dad. I'm sure you miss him so much. I'm happy that you have an outlet for sharing your grief. I know that you are helping others do the same.

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DJ4HEALTH 8/22/2013 9:44PM

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JACKIE542 8/22/2013 7:07PM

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MICKEYH 8/22/2013 6:47PM

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SPARKFRAN514 8/22/2013 4:27PM

    Thank you for sharing your dads memorial with us. even though he severed many years we need to always thank them for their service to our country as they allowed us to live in freedom. it looks like a peaceful place. you will work the loss but need to remember we never "get over it'' we just learn to move on. will be thinking of you as you do this journey as you do the Spark trail and school . emoticon

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SONICB 8/22/2013 2:33PM

    Jean, thank you so much for sharing the pictures and memories of your dad. emoticon

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TKRYSTINA 8/22/2013 10:46AM

  When I lost my older brother Mark in 1996 at the age of 36 I wrote letters to him to tell him what was going on in our lives & that helped me a lot now I need to do the same for my mom as we lost her on Mother's Day. I love the pictures of your dad he was a very handsome man. emoticon emoticon . I took care of my mom at the end. I had lived with her for the last 22.5 years.

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DETERMINEDDE 8/22/2013 10:33AM

    Oh Jean. What great pictures and memories. Sounds like you were a great daughter to him! Hold those happy memories close by as you process your grief.
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LITTLEGUYSMOM1 8/22/2013 10:02AM

    emoticon I'll be praying for you as you go through the grieving process. It is always comforting to know that he is with his Heavenly Father, healed and healthy.

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