Thursday, August 22, 2013
I am mid week blogging to tell you about the horror moment I created for myself!
I am a smart woman, a master's degree and another 30 credits.. people come to me for help and listen to what I say-- I am smart. But then, I am not.
I was a complete BONEHEAD yesterday- complete stupidity came out of an overwhelming desire to be "normal" Even when I know my old normal created a morbidly obese body, a potential health disaster.
When the bariatric specialists tell you to try ONE new thing a day as you enter the regular bariatric diet HEED THIS SUGGESTION! I am not sure what happened with my wits yesterday!
SO I was so excited that I made myself and egg and toast for my first "real breakfast" yesterday (my first day on bariatric regular diet). Did I read my notes from dietitian?? NO. The notes say scrambled egg- I made fried, and whole wheat toast and I had pumpernickel (all I had in house). As I am eating this- making sure I chew the hell out of it, I start to feel that feeling of UGH that one gets when the new stomach feels like enough is enough. I got in half a piece of a half a piece of toast and the yolk part of my egg. And for two hours I felt icky but then I felt better. In the mean time I read my menu and saw that I should have prepared my egg differently and thought maybe the pumpernickel bread was too dense a bread to start.
THEN... I was taking my son out for back to school shopping-- we do it every year and it always includes a lunch out. So I thought I would also eat out on this FIRST day of bariatric regular diet. HA HA HA...
But my next faux pas happened before lunch. My son wanted to hit Dunkin Donuts on the way to where we were going (an hour from my home). What did I do?? I think "OH, I will get myself an ice tea....." So I order it, and don't even pay attention to the DD worker asking me if I wanted sugar and lemon-- nor do I notice that I say, "yes." Now I know as a sleeve gastrectomy patient I can have sugar-- but have you seen the scoops of sugar DD puts in -- it is shovels full!!! Anyway I should have used a little sugar substitute but that is SO out of my habit-- I never used sustitute in the past and I have to change that. Anyway I also accept the straw that comes with the beverage (I do miss a straw!). SO I sip away about 2 oz of this and immediately feel the UGH.. so I stop and write this off as more money wasted- analyze what I did and all the wrongs about it. By the time my son and I get to the shops he likes to go to I feel better-- again-- my 2nd reprieve of the day. You'd think I would pay attention and stop my silliness but nooo.....
We have a wonderful time together- moments to cherish because at 17 I know I won't have too many more of these times with my son. It is 1pm now and I suggest we go get some lunch (we topped out the budget and were done with shopping). We pick Panera Bread (and there are good choices there, I just wasn't making good decisions yesterday). I think I am doing so great- I order the shrimp salad roll with Greek salad on the side and an apple. I think I will take the salad and left over shrimp home to my husband, discard the roll and give my son the apple. A good plan, I am thinking. So I eat only 2 oz of the Shrimp (a new food for my new tummy). I do feel UGH, AGAIN.... but it does pass. But I am not feeling super- I am mildly uncomfortable but keep it to myself.
SO about halfway home I have to make an emergency pull over-- jump out of the car and start vomiting... I vomited ALL the way home once I pulled it together from the first pull over. THANK GOD, my son can drive because he had to take over the wheel so I could take care of my business in the passenger's side. Poor kid... nothing like being with your mother while she repeatedly vomits. Not only was I tossing my cookies BUT I felt like I was having a heart attack -- my chest hurt incredibly- like I wanted it to burst to get relief. It was all horrible gas. It was painful and the whole experience was so damn scary.
By about 8pm that evening I felt OK. I ended up napping for 2-3 hours after we got home, as I was completely spent and exhausted. I spent the evening reflecting all my errors and how my body was trying to tell me enough was enough but I didn't want to listen. I will not make this mistake again- I can't even tell you enough how scary and awful it is.... so if you are looking into the surgery, or getting closer to your 6 week mark please listen to what your doctors/dietitians say!!!
I am so happy to have today to start over- I woke up feeling fine and had a shake for breakfast even though I want to be done with shakes (I hate milk! And just plan sick of protein shakes). I have a new respect for the protein shake!! My ONE new item today will be whole wheat crackers (I will have them with my 2oz of tuna that I know I can digest). I am proceeding with great caution today!