I hadn't been to gym for about a week. I don't like it. It's partly because we have been really busy getting ready for back to school/work, but partly because I haven't made it enough of a priority.
I haven't made myself enough of a priority in general. I have really put myself on the back-burner, especially for the last couple weeks. I have a tendency to prioritize my family before myself, and I really need to keep it in check.
For instance, I still haven't bought a sports bra. When I see the prices on decent sports bras, I think about how $40 is enough for a 1 hour music lesson for my son, or for part of their spanish classes.
When I was shopping for running shoes, I thought about how my husband, who wears orthodic inserts and will probably need surgery on his ankles before he is 35, is going to need another pair of good shoes soon, so maybe I should wait till after that.
When I bought my compression sleeves, I felt so guilty because they were so expensive...I still feel guilty that I didn't wait to buy them online because I was in a lot of pain and didn't want to wait for them to be shipped...
I am always thrifty, but if my kids or husband need something, and it is not on sale or I can't get it somewhere else cheaper, I will buy it anyways. If it's something I need, I will wait...and wait...and wait. Even when it is cheap,
because I over-think it, and I am also extremely indecisive.
My wardrobe is pitiful. I have the pair of shorts that I bought right before I started working out again (that are a size 22), and a pair of pants (size 20) that I am hanging on to simply because I have literally no other pants (even thought the crotch is almost worn through and if I have to repatch the knee again one leg will be shorter than the other) and then a pair of shorts(size 20) that I bought on clearance at Wal-Mart because I needed SOMETHING to wear at Disney, and a pair of Capri's (Size 20, also on clearance) I bought for the same reason. That is the entirety of my day-to-day wardrobe for the bottom half of my body. And my husband was the one who told me I needed to get the stuff for Disney. I don't even have a skirt that fits me, or a casual dress. I have about 6 of the Old Navy vintage v-neck shirts that I cycle through, and one summery blouse. I am going to freeze my ass off this winter.
So when Old Navy had a sale this morning, I bought over $250 in new clothes for my kids and husband. Now, to be fair, they needed those clothes. The boys needed uniform shirts, and they need jeans for when it gets cooler, and my husband has his 3 pairs of slacks for work, and like 900 pairs of cargo shorts and that's it.
I don't mind doing things for my family. It makes me happy when I see that they have the things they need, whether it's education, love, food, clothes, etc. I am happy to go out of my way to take care of them! My husband definitely deserves to have the things he wants and needs, since he busts his @$$ at work, to the tune of nearly 90 hours a week right now, to make sure that our kids and I have a good home, and the things we need/want. Greg is supportive, and romantic, and amazing, even though I am not the easiest person in the world!
He is my biggest supporter, and has been telling me for YEARS that I need to do more for myself. I will go shopping because I need something, and come back with stuff for him, and he will actually get a little upset with me, because while he appreciates it, I didn't get the things I need. He constantly reminds me to think of what I need, and pushes me to do things for myself. He knew I wouldn't just get myself a gym membership, so he convinced me that getting a YMCA membership was good for the whole family (which it was, but he knew I could justify it if it was for everyone, and I couldn't if it was just for me).
When I was running and started having leg pain, he kept trying to get me to go to the running specialty store to get good shoes. I knew it would be pricey, and I would have to take the boys with me because they are out of school, so I just kept pushing it off. Finally, he insisted one day, on his one evening off (he has been working 7am-10pm 5-7 days a week lately due to inventory and lack of help), that we all go to the store so he could keep an eye on the kids and I could try out some shoes. I didn't end up buying anything that day, because they only had two pairs in my size, and neither were quite what I needed. But last night, when I told him I ordered him a new pair of sneakers, he pretty much DEMANDED that I order myself a pair as well.
When I called him to let him know that I had gotten him and the kids all the clothes at Old Navy, he husband said "Did you get yourself anything?" and I was...like...dumbfounded. It hadn't even occurred to me. I went back, and got myself two pairs of jeans, AND a pair of shorts (SIZE 16!!!!!!!!!! and just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle snug, but I can pull 'em on and button 'em!), so at least I can be decent in public now! Hah!
So, as of now, I have TWO pairs of shorts, two pairs of jeans, and a pair of capri's! I also have new running shoes in the mail (after much thought, Brooks Adrenaline because more than half of my friends who are serious runners have recommended Brooks, and the adrenaline's had great reviews for under $150).
The moral of the story is that I love my husband so very much, and that while I am happy school has started, I am going to miss my boys TERRIBLY during the day. I actually was crying about it last night! However, a little mommy time will REALLY come in handy!
I put on a little weight over my hiatus....not happy about it, but I am back on track now. I gained back 4lbs, but here is a pic at 250.4
250.4lbs 140 days to Dirty Girl!!!