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My daughter's hair and ears.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Sunday we dyed my daughter's hair turquoise blue... I put it in a ponytail on top of her head, then bleached about 5" of the ends... then dyed them blue. She LOVES it. One boy at school told her it looked like a smurf barfed in her hair... she just grinned and gave him a thumbs up... LOTS of her girlfriends tell her they love her hair. She still has pink chunks in it, too... so it's very much like cotton candy. :) I wish I had a pic to put on here!!! I will try to ... so check back now and then if you're interested in seeing it. :)


Today I finally took my almost 13 year old (13 in 3 days) to an ENT doc... well, let's back up a bit. ...

When she was in the 3rd grade she said she didn't hear well out of one ear... so I asked her teacher to help her out by letting her sit close to the front and on a particular side of the room... she complied. I also asked the school nurse about hearing tests... she said yes, she could test my daughter although the tests are routinely given in the 4th grade. So I waited... in the meantime... my daughter seemed to hear fine most of the time. She could hear me whisper from across the room, even. And doctor check ups revealed no abnormalities whatsoever.

Well. months passed and the nurse said still said she would test her when she did the 4th graders... but she never did. Hmmm... so why didn't I take my daughter to have a test elsewhere?... it has a lot to do with the fact she didn't really appear to have a hearing problem. She has no speech impediments that normally accompany children with hearing loss, and like I said, she could hear me whisper things, plus she could hear things I couldn't hear... like making out words to songs... etc. So I waited.

She was supposed to be tested in the 4th grade. She said she was... I asked her how it went, did she pass?... and she said she reckoned. So I waited for a letter from the nurse. I got nothing. I also didn't get responses to emails or returned calls. ... so I just figured the nurse was busy and that my daughter was actually fine and did indeed pass the hearing test.

That nurse no longer works at the school.

She went on thru the 5th and 6th grades making excellent grades and doing wonderfully in all areas. Every now and then she would turn her head as if to hear something better... but I do that at times, so I really didn't think much of it.

In the middle of the 7th grade she began saying she couldn't hear at all from one ear. So this summer, I tried getting her in to see an ENT. I prefer to use docs from our Children's Hospital and their clinics... but they would not see her. She had to have a family doc order. So I finally got her in to see our family doc. He thought her hearing loss was probably sinus and allergy related and wanted her to take some meds for 2 weeks to see if it cleared it up... I protested to this and told him the back story starting with the 3rd grade... so he went ahead and made us the ENT appt.

Which brings us to today. Finally she got a thorough hearing test which revealed that she is completely deaf in one ear.

Completely deaf in one ear. And they do not know why. Everything appears normal.

She has another doctor appt on the 27th with a specialist.

She is most upset because the doctor told her not to wear earbuds or listen to headphones any more... because we have a tendency to listen too loud and she needs to protect the hearing in her good ear. Her good ear which hears perfectly.

I am most upset because I waited so long. I feel like a horrible mother for letting this go on for so long. I should have taken her way back then... but for all those reasons, which seem poor looking back, I did not.

While taking the test today... she had to repeat words. During that she grinned really big one time... later while at Walmart she told me why. She had to repeat words... and two words she was to repeat in a row... Date and Pain... well, she is a One Direction fangirl, and one of the lad's name is Liam Payne... She said she thought... Date... Payne... yes, thank you. :) and that made her smile. Little things.


Finding a rainbow in a cloudy day. emoticon

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    Sorry--duplicate comment. ;)
    1600 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/4/2013 2:07:30 AM
    That happened to my mother. One day, she had her hands full and put the phone up to the opposite ear than she usually did. She thought no one was on the phone! Finally she set her things down and swapped ears, voila! Someone was there.

    ((Hugs to you))
    1600 days ago
  • LIBRA73
    Don't kick yourself. You forget to add in all that life pushes at you while these little signals were going off. And they don't look like signals when you are dealing with bigger issues. She seemed ok. She said she was ok. No one said HEY YOU, SHE CAN"T HEAR! And in the meanwhile, she did great. And she will continue doing great and so will you.

    Life throws us all kinds of bull, and we have to pick the biggest things and fight those. She is not damaged one bit because of this.

    This happens. We deal and we move on.

    BTW...come do my hair! That sounds awesome!
    1607 days ago
    Don't kick yourself, you have been doing the best you can and it is obvious you love and take care of your kids.

    Get this...I"m a teacher and had a student last year who was deaf in one ear and needed hearing aids. Mom could only take him to a specialist if he had a note from our school nurse stating he failed a hearing test.

    Somehow he managed to pass a hearing test in both ears with our school nurse during that 4th grade screening. I immediately sent him back to be rechecked, knowing that he was deaf in his right ear. Of course, the second time he failed with the right ear.

    Don't always trust the school to be on top of it or to do it accurately. We are all human and make mistakes. It's what you do afterwards that matters.

    Good luck.
    1610 days ago
    Big, big emoticon to you, from one mom to another. Sometimes we look back at things and it is so hard not to kick ourselves, but DON'T do that! I totally get what you mean about the "feeling like a bad mom" thing, but it is so obvious you are just the opposite!!! It could have happened to any of us.

    You'll both be in my prayers as you all navigate through this.
    Hang in there.
    emoticon emoticon

    P,S, Loved the 'date... pain' thing. Way to find the silver lining mom! !! And thanks for giving us a pic - he IS a cutie.
    1610 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/24/2013 8:48:31 PM
    Good that she had the test. You are a very cool mom giving her the hair color she wanted.
    1611 days ago
    I am so sorry Renee. Don't feel like a horrible parent, I would have waited also, every thing seemed normal. I did the same thing with my now 13 year old daughter and eye glasses. I thought all was normal, waited for the school report and then found out that she was legal blind. I too beat myself up over it. You have to let it go and learn to forgive and accept. It is going to be harder then you think...trust me.

    Hugs and love-Kat
    1612 days ago
    I will definitely check back to see the hair!

    Oh how many times we as parents look back at situations and thought of all the ways we shoulda coulda didn't do it! You got her in - pushed the Dr. - and now you can proceed. She sounds strong and amazing...just like her momma!!!
    1612 days ago
    (((HUGS))) I'm with everyone else. Don't be so hard on yourself. Oh, if we could only change history....but we can't. I'm sure almost all of us would have taken the same path you did. Now press on and love your daughter and yourself. Life is still good and so are both of you!

    1612 days ago
    You did what you could at the time (when she was in 3rd grade) and you were reassured by a supposed professional - so don't beat yourself up. (And it may have been inevitable that she lost hearing in that ear, especially if no one knows why.)

    But I like her attitude - "Date.......Payne"

    Would love to see the older daughter's hair!
    1612 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1612 days ago
    There is a reason for the saying "hindsight is 20/20" Don't beat yourself up over it.

    If they cant figure out why - they probably wouldn't have been able to do anything to change it, only watch it progress. There are a lot of options for hearing loss now.

    Definitely post a pic! I had a boy so I love to live my missed mother daughter moments vicariously through others! lol
    1612 days ago
    I would love to see the blue hair. My Mom wants blue hair so bad!! Her hair isn't healthy enough to withstand all of that.

    Never question your mothering ability. We always look back and say "what if"... but "what if" it wouldn't have made a difference. You made the best decision with the information you had. Sending you hugs... no one is to blame... no one!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1612 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/22/2013 10:30:46 AM
    First thing you are not a horrible mother!! We have all done things that we wish we did different. I hope everything works out with your daughter.

    The hair sounds awesome!! I want to see pictures!!!!!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1612 days ago
    I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's ear. And you are not a bad mother because of this! I don't think you did anything wrong. I hope the specialist can figure out what's wrong and restore hearing to your daughter.

    Also, the way you dyed your daughter's hair sounds totally awesome! I wish my mother would have done stuff like that for me when I was a teenager. It was like pulling teeth just to get her to dye my hair straight black when I was 17. *sigh*
    1612 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    Your daughter's hair sounds awesome! I wish I had the nerve to color my hair like that.

    We all have things that we wish we'd done differently with our kids. That's why they say "hindsight is 20/20". She may very well have passed the hearing test in 4th grade, or she could have shown a negligible loss. I hope the specialist is able to give you some answers.
    1612 days ago
    Hugs -- hope you find out what is going on soon!

    1612 days ago
    I hope they and find out what is going on.
    1612 days ago
    Don't beat yourself up for waiting, you did what you thought right at the time. Anyway If she is completely deaf in that ear it wouldn't have made any difference. I had a similar experience with my son and his eyes....
    1613 days ago
    1613 days ago
  • TEBOW415
    1613 days ago
    emoticon Sorry you got bad news, but I don't think you are a bad mom. I would have done the same thing. My son didn't say anything about his eyesight, and I found out when he had his physical for 7th grade that he needed glasses. It happens sometimes.
    1613 days ago
    1613 days ago
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