Wednesday, August 21, 2013
The past few days have been really crazy. There have been lots of ups and downs, and the emotional roller coaster has worn me out, physically and mentally. My Nannie passed away... we went through some pretty minor financial trouble as the result of several unexpected expenses... I reached an all-time high weight... my daughter hasn't even started school yet and her schedule is already getting hectic... I start back to work again in a few days myself; I'll be in a new classroom, with a new co-worker, and also with a new crop of kidlets... There have been some other things going on within my family... I haven't really thought about all of these things until this very moment, but I have to say it's been kind of rough.
There have been some very nice moments, though. I've had a couple really nice, long conversations with my mother-in-law (the one I haven't seen or spoken to in four years). My sister-in-law (same situation) has contacted me a couple of times, just to see how I was doing. Husband and I always get along really well, but lately it just seems even better than usual. My poor, injured kitty is recovering nicely and is almost back to his old self. But since things have been up one minute and down the next, it's taken its toll on me. I started getting a migraine today. I had the visual auras, the nausea, and a bit of a headache, but it fortunately went away before it got full-blown. I was SO worried that I was going to have to cancel my dinner party tonight, and I'm so glad I didn't have to. I took some medicine and laid down on my bed and closed my eyes for a while and later this afternoon I was fine.
But yeah... things have been really stressful lately...and really good. Like I said, LOTS of ups and downs. My heart has been so heavy. Although I've been experiencing a wide array of emotions the past few days, this evening I am full of gratitude.
I'm so grateful for my family. My parents, my husband, and my daughter are just so wonderful. I am so appreciative of them. They stick by me throughout the years and love all of me.
I'm so grateful that in spite of Nannie's death, it is bringing my whole family closer together. My aunt (Nannie's daughter and my dad's sister) called me today, after the funeral, to tell me how nice the funeral was and to say she loved me and hoped I was doing ok. How amazing and kind was that? She didn't have to do that... people should be calling her... but that's the kind of woman she is.
We had non-family company tonight for the first time in about two years. Long story short, she has been Daughter's therapist for the past two years and has become such a wonderful addition to our lives that we truly feel like she is a member of our family. We had her over for dinner tonight to honor her and to say thank you for everything she has done for us... as if a dinner could really accomplish that. I wish I could send her on a cruise or buy her a car or something. I digress. We had the BEST TIME EVER tonight! I seriously cannot remember the last time I had such a fun evening! We laughed so hard we cried, the conversations just kept on going and going... I could not have asked for a nicer evening. She gave us our daughter back and I am so grateful for her. She said she wanted to stay in touch and I'm so grateful for the new friendship that I have with her. I've been so disappointed by people the past few years, but I feel like I can really consider her a friend.
I am grateful for people on SparkPeople. Earlier today, I wrote a blog entry about reaching an all-time high weight. I've checked back, half-expecting to see some kind of negative, hurtful comment, but ALL I see is support and encouragement. These people don't even know me and have faith in me and are rooting for me. I hope they know how much that touches my heart, and how BADLY, how DESPERATELY I need that support and encouragement right now. Just typing that last sentence has brought me to tears. I have so very, very, very much to be grateful for. There are so many incredible, thoughtful, considerate, kind people in my life... some I actually know personally and some I will never meet. But I am grateful for each and every one of them.
I haven't been able to say this in years, but tonight I don't feel so alone. I feel part of an intricate network of amazing people. And for that, I am so very grateful.