Wednesday, August 21, 2013
This is NOT how I wanted my FIRST blog post to begin, but needed to vent. I know people here will understand the feelings I have about this.
I had a new experience yesterday!!! An old friend from out of state was visiting me and while we were out we ran into another old friend. He couldn't remember me and we were describing how I looked back then (40 years ago), my maiden name, who I ran around with, etc. "Back then", in high school years, I weighed between 135 and 150 -- not getting really big until my late 20's.
Anyway, at this point my friend who was standing slightly behind me, did the 'big arm' and 'waddling' gestures, indicating (behind my back) that I was big-fat-huge--whatever. I turned because our other friend was curiously looking past me and at her who was not talking and I caught her making the gestures. She quickly stopped the 'baby Hughie' moves and had that 'caught in the head lights' look. I was a hurt and embarrassed that she would be dramatically emphasizing that I was so big when he didn't even know me during the 'fat' years.
Why must some people emphasize your shortcomings--especially now that I am NOT fat anymore. It is not that I want to forget, (I kinda do) but I just don't want to be reminded of it in such an insensitive way. Haunted by the past? Those old painful feelings of being taunted have returned and I don't like it!
I choose not to let it get me down--but am disappointed. It felt, to me, like all those years when I was actually fat and publicly ridiculed or judged for being fat had returned.
Well, have a great day everyone and ignore the stupid, insensitive people!!!!