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BEATLETOT
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All Kinds of Loss...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Today wasn't easy.

I wound up not picking up Sammy's ashes. I couldn't. I really couldn't. I feel very bad about it but I made my husband go by himself. I could be there with Sammy at the end, because he needed me, but this was just too hard.

And all I want to do is eat.

I haven't gone over my calorie range since I re-started everything. I've been doing really great with that. But today, I SO wanted to. I did break a rule by eating a candy bar this evening, but I also just wanted to stuff myself with mac and cheese and fried chicken and cheeseburgers and chippies.

And maybe I should have. Some good, old-fashioned emotional eating might have made me feel better for a few minutes.

But I didn't. What good would killing my streak do? Would I feel that much better afterward? Likely not. So I didn't. But I am going to come close. I'm measuring out some treats and eating them before I go to bed. It's not a pigout, but I reckon it's still emotional eating. That's good enough.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v SHARON10002
    Losing a pet is just as difficult as losing a member of our family. I'm so sorry for your loss, and know what you are feeling. We lost 2 dogs - one lived 15 years, and the other 17.5. Know that with time, it will get easier, and your sadness and grief will give way to cherished memories.
    emoticon
    1072 days ago
  • v CLPURNELL
    emoticon
    1072 days ago
  • v RUTHXG
    Ack! my comment posted twice! Well, here are some extra emoticon for you!
    1073 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/22/2013 12:05:38 AM
  • v RUTHXG
    Bless you, sweetie! THAT kind of emotional eating (measured & thought through) is the RIGHT kind. Because food IS delicious & comforting besides being nutritious, & it's OK for it to serve all of those purposes, in proper moderation.

    I'm so sorry, again & still, about your loss of Sammy. You & A & he were a good little family. I hope the love that you shared will continue to make itself felt in the coming days & years.

    Wish I had been able to respond right away when you posted this. I have a house guest from Colombia & she has needed all kinds of support (though she's a lovely, capable person & took it upon herself to clean my bathroom & sweep my floors today!). And today my housemate, who's getting ready to move out, discovered a bedbug in her bed. And she has been bitten multiple times. ARGH. It looks as though she'll schedule a heat treatment for the whole condo, though, & pay for it. (I'll pitch in, but I am glad she's taking responsibility--it's something she should have noticed long ago, because these aren't the first bites.)

    Much emoticon to you.
    1073 days ago
  • v DUXGRL1
    emoticon
    1073 days ago
  • v TAICHIDANCER
    Hang in there.
    1073 days ago
  • v SPARKLINGHOPE
    emoticon I am so sorry for your loss.
    1074 days ago
  • v PINKNFITCARLA
    emoticon
    1074 days ago
  • v PAMNANGEL
    So sorry for your loss. emoticon When I lost Marty I had to have my mother drive me I was such a mess. They are always in your heart.
    1074 days ago
  • v SANDYL54
    So sorry for your loss. I had to euthanize my beloved dog who was my 'one and only' even before I had a hubbie and kids. No one has ever taken his place. But as time has gone on his legend lives with sooo many great stories and memories. I hope you are able to come to that place soon where remembering your sweetie brings a smile through the tears. Hang in there and please treat your self with great care and gentleness.
    1074 days ago
  • v THESAME6LBS
    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a most difficult time. I don't have kids or a lot of friends so when I lost my girl a few years ago, it was the most hurtful thing I've ever felt.
    Picking up her ashes was a surreal event.
    It takes time but the good memories outweigh the painful ones.
    Take care.
    1074 days ago
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