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All Kinds of Loss...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Today wasn't easy.

I wound up not picking up Sammy's ashes. I couldn't. I really couldn't. I feel very bad about it but I made my husband go by himself. I could be there with Sammy at the end, because he needed me, but this was just too hard.

And all I want to do is eat.

I haven't gone over my calorie range since I re-started everything. I've been doing really great with that. But today, I SO wanted to. I did break a rule by eating a candy bar this evening, but I also just wanted to stuff myself with mac and cheese and fried chicken and cheeseburgers and chippies.

And maybe I should have. Some good, old-fashioned emotional eating might have made me feel better for a few minutes.

But I didn't. What good would killing my streak do? Would I feel that much better afterward? Likely not. So I didn't. But I am going to come close. I'm measuring out some treats and eating them before I go to bed. It's not a pigout, but I reckon it's still emotional eating. That's good enough.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 8/22/2013 10:05PM

    Losing a pet is just as difficult as losing a member of our family. I'm so sorry for your loss, and know what you are feeling. We lost 2 dogs - one lived 15 years, and the other 17.5. Know that with time, it will get easier, and your sadness and grief will give way to cherished memories.
emoticon

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CLPURNELL 8/22/2013 10:04PM

    emoticon

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RUTHXG 8/22/2013 12:03AM

    Ack! my comment posted twice! Well, here are some extra emoticon for you!

Comment edited on: 8/22/2013 12:05:38 AM

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RUTHXG 8/22/2013 12:03AM

    Bless you, sweetie! THAT kind of emotional eating (measured & thought through) is the RIGHT kind. Because food IS delicious & comforting besides being nutritious, & it's OK for it to serve all of those purposes, in proper moderation.

I'm so sorry, again & still, about your loss of Sammy. You & A & he were a good little family. I hope the love that you shared will continue to make itself felt in the coming days & years.

Wish I had been able to respond right away when you posted this. I have a house guest from Colombia & she has needed all kinds of support (though she's a lovely, capable person & took it upon herself to clean my bathroom & sweep my floors today!). And today my housemate, who's getting ready to move out, discovered a bedbug in her bed. And she has been bitten multiple times. ARGH. It looks as though she'll schedule a heat treatment for the whole condo, though, & pay for it. (I'll pitch in, but I am glad she's taking responsibility--it's something she should have noticed long ago, because these aren't the first bites.)

Much emoticon to you.

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DUXGRL1 8/21/2013 7:41PM

    emoticon

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TAICHIDANCER 8/21/2013 4:12AM

    Hang in there.

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SPARKLINGHOPE 8/21/2013 12:54AM

    emoticon I am so sorry for your loss.

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PINKNFITCARLA 8/20/2013 11:43PM

    emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 8/20/2013 10:24PM

    So sorry for your loss. emoticon When I lost Marty I had to have my mother drive me I was such a mess. They are always in your heart.

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SANDYL54 8/20/2013 9:49PM

  So sorry for your loss. I had to euthanize my beloved dog who was my 'one and only' even before I had a hubbie and kids. No one has ever taken his place. But as time has gone on his legend lives with sooo many great stories and memories. I hope you are able to come to that place soon where remembering your sweetie brings a smile through the tears. Hang in there and please treat your self with great care and gentleness.

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THESAME6LBS 8/20/2013 9:25PM

  I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a most difficult time. I don't have kids or a lot of friends so when I lost my girl a few years ago, it was the most hurtful thing I've ever felt.
Picking up her ashes was a surreal event.
It takes time but the good memories outweigh the painful ones.
Take care.

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