(^This is the Onederland sign I had in my Onederland pic. It hangs on my wall above my scale so I can look at it everyday to remind me that I worked to get here and have to work to stay here.)
As I said in my status yesterday, I was chatting with my BFF Susan, and we talked about how I had a couple rough days and what not, and being the sweetie she is "At least you are staying in Onederland, so that's the best part!" I told her I am finally realizing that there are no season passes to Onederland! It isn't buy a day get a year free! I wish that was the case, and there were a few times my mind started slipping and thinking I didn't have to work as hard.
When I first got to Onederland last month, it was so much fun, I couldn't believe I did it! I just squeaked on in at 199.6 and was worried that I might see 200 in some of my weighing adventures (because sometimes I get on more than once a week). But I was very lucky that I have not stepped a foot outside of Onederland since I first arrived. That is fine and dandy but it also gave me a little bit of complacency. When I first hit it I had 2 kind of "whatever days" and I recently had 2 more "whatever days", but I have to remember that I still need to DO WORK.
My mind plays tricks on me sometimes, it's like it tells me that "I've got this" and lulls me into this false sense of security where I feel like I don't have to work as hard. What drives me crazy about this is, when I started my journey this time, I was committed for life. This was the first time that I realized that you don't "diet UNTIL you get to your goal weight, then eat whatever you want." I realized I had to make permanent changes, that I could stick with forever. I knew that maintaining my weight would take the same (if not more) effort that I was using to lose weight, and I was fine with this. The kicker of course is that I am not even at maintenance. I honestly don't know when maintenance will be... I'm confident I will know it when I see it. I will wake up one day and FEEL that I am at a good weight for myself and that will be when I maintain. But even when that glorious day comes, I still need to DO WORK. My girl Susan is always good at reminding me I have to do the work. I can't let the little gremlins in my mind tell me it's okay to slack off because I've worked so hard for so long.
I am ready to kick this up a notch, I am ready to get the rest of this weight off, no matter how much weight that might be. I ordered Hip Hop Abs and I'm super excited to start that... it looks like a lot of fun and it's definitely my kind of exercise. I don't know if I have shared this publicly in a blog, but after getting to my mystical goal weight, and maintaining for a bit, I am going to have a tummy tuck. I already have the money saved up and it is a choice I have made based on my body, and the amount of hanging skin I seem to have. The "apron" as you will just continues to get worse and worse as I lose the weight. A lot of people say "you'll be fine, it'll go back up", but I can honestly say that seems very unlikely at this point. I was overweight my entire life, the skin is stretched to the point of no return in a lot of places. If I can get to goal and my body magically takes care of itself then yay, but I am prepared financially and emotionally for the inevitable and being privileged enough to have that as an option has taken a huge load off my mind. I don't know that I would be able to push forward as hard with this weight loss if I didn't have that option, because my stomach getting worse and worse would probably start to discourage me. So I'm ready emotionally and financially for that, but I'm not at my goal and so that is my focus to get the rest of this weight off once and for all.