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    FREETHEGODDESS   20,510
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20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Did I do this to myself again? Yup!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Well to make a long story short...I joined SP over two years ago at 300 lbs. I was desperate and devoted all my time to getting healthy. The result of my hard work and dedication was a 70 lb. weight loss by Dec. 25th, 2011.

Something happened at that point. I lost my drive and couldn't seem to get it back. I felt good and got tired of watching every bite and cut back a little on exercise. Well, the weight started to creep back on and I didn't want to face it.

I worked a sloppy program and was not seeing the results I wanted to so I gave up. I kept exercising a couple days a week but, I went back to my old eating habits and before long, I had gained back over 40 lbs. of the 70 lbs. I had lost.

5 months ago I injured my heel doing Zumba and have Plantarfaciitis which has yet to heal. So exercise has stopped.

Well, I can no longer sit here feeling sorry for myself. I am feeling like a failure again and embarrassed to be on Sparkpeople as a "motivator" when I have set such a bad example for everyone. I want to succeed and help others to do the same.

I am back and will try again to get healthy both physically and mentally. I miss my Sparkfriends and hope they are healthy and happy.

Glad to be back and looking forward to feeling successful again. Let's get to work!

8-17-13 272 lbs.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELIEVELOR 2/16/2014 7:19PM

    Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently. Henry Ford Been there, done that, so many times. I know, I know, I know, the shame that goes with having to start over. Let it GO, I am trying to do that myself. You inspire me so much, thank you for sharing.

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DREAMINGOFNEWME 10/10/2013 4:33PM

    I totally understand this post!!! The main thing is that you have realised it and getting back to it. It just shows we are human

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MISSB8604 9/3/2013 5:14PM

    Glad to have you back. We're all in this together!

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1DERLAND14 9/2/2013 7:40PM

    I am SO SO SO happy to see you back here! I have gone up and down on the weight loss rollercoaster and I can say that it isn't fun. I think we started close to the same time and dedicated and lost close to the same amount of weight. I fell head over heels in a relationship in Nov 2011 and the holidays hit and I was never the same either. I can relate so much to your story. I have bounced up and down. At times, I have felt embarrassed to be a spark people motivator, but we know what to do to get there...we do motivate people to be their best.... We just have to continue to motivate OURSELVES on this journey! You can do it, girl! You have before and anytime you felt down, lost, or need a push in the right direction...come find me! :) emoticon

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GERISUE63 8/31/2013 11:13AM

  I am so proud of you for coming back. I could have written the very same thing that you did! I gained 5o though! As of Aug. 12 th I have taken 12 of that back off and feeling better already(though very disgusted with myself. My depression was so bad meds. weren't working anymore so I thought the same as you...quit feeling sorry for yourself and start fighting back. It's been 4 days since I really started watching what I eat and back to walking 30 -35 min. a day and what a difference it's making. I have some hope again and to see you on here at the same place I am really encourages me and i admire you for not giving up. Keep up the good work and I hope your foot gets better soon!

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BRIGHTPENNY 8/29/2013 10:55PM

    Great accomplishment getting back on the merry-go-round! The important thing is that you are back! Try not to feel the pressure of being a "motivator".. if it works for you that is one thing. The time now is to spend your energies where you feel they are best directed in order to feel well physically and mentally!

The foot problem can take time.. be KIND to your self! Perhaps this is a good time to hone in on non- weight bearing exercise.. swimming, strength training and the like!
emoticon emoticon emoticon Jan

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MINANCY 8/27/2013 7:03PM

    We've all been there. You are not alone. It is good to see your beautiful face back on Spark. Stay strong, my friend.
emoticon

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J-ALEXIS 8/22/2013 4:07PM

    You still motivate!!! You simply are showing how difficult making healthy habits part of life can be. We've all been there. Your honesty is what we all find helpful.

Even better is going to be watching you take off that excess weight all the while having learned from the mistakes made.

Everyone here is cheering you on!!!!!!

Welcome back to Spark!!!!



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MPLSKEN 8/21/2013 5:30PM

    Welcome back and thanks for sharing! In fact, this is a very motivating post! For those who have lost and gained, they'll know that they are not alone. For those who have lost and feel like they can let things slide, they'll be reminded to tread carefully and mindfully. And, perhaps most importantly for yourself, you're facing your situation head on by publicly sharing and committing to a continued journey to a healthier life!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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M0MTH3W1TCH 8/21/2013 3:21PM

  I am sooooooo glad you are back! I've missed you. We had so much fun during that challenge and I haven't done as well either (and gained a few plus myself. Just can't get motivated even though going to Disney in October.

BTW - you still look amazing! Be proud of what you have done in the past and you can do it again. Shoes make a big difference. Do you have inserts for your shoes? I have found now that I am older I'm now wearing the ortho stuff and it makes a big difference. Not liking the price tag though!

Want to do this together and keep each other motivated? I'm here for you my dear SparkFriend.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

marge

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SIXFOOT1 8/21/2013 10:45AM

    I'm most motivated by the people who have "fallen off the wagon" and gotten back on. I relate better to them than the people who are successful the first try and never falter. Glad you are back!

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ME_FIRST 8/21/2013 8:59AM

    You are a motivator because you've again mustered up your fight to be healthier. I'm so glad to see you back. You know how to eat and there's always chair exercises. So here we go!!!

emoticon Yvonne

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_BABE_ 8/21/2013 2:08AM

    I am the comeback kid and there is no shame in that...I am so glad to see you back. We can do this...I am slated for foot surgery (Posterior tibial tendon rupture and a heel slide) for August 30 but I do not intend to lose any ground...hey it is a large part of what we put in our mouth and I still put too much! Welcome back! emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/21/2013 2:09:52 AM

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FORMYDARLINGS 8/20/2013 7:55PM

   

Welcome Home, my friend. A side trip was what you took and now you are back on your original course.


Gini

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GRETCHMAMA 8/20/2013 7:51PM

    Good job getting back into things! Good luck with your continued journey! :-) emoticon

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