Tuesday, August 20, 2013
We all have them. Some to a bigger degree than others.
I find that, as I get older, I have fewer issues with being outgoing. I used to be a person that had a really hard time talking to anyone, and this was when I was fairly skinny. All through my teen years and 20's, I had a fair amount of anxiety dealing with anyone. I was all about "am I really worth it"?
During the same time, I was also about "If they don't like me for who I am, then they won't like me."
I still have that second thought, but am more outgoing toward people. I can easily have random conversations with people that I just met. I don't fear people anymore because I know they will have their opinions of me, no matter what I do, so I will go out in the world and be me, allowing the people who gravitate toward me do so at their own leisure.
This may seem self-centered, and it probably is, but when a person has confidence in who they are, then people with similar values will gravitate toward you. Confidence is something that needs to be worked on. You may be stuck in the thought that body image equals your self worth. This is never true, no matter what you look like.
You may be the biggest person you know, or you may feel like you need to be air-brushed before you go out, both examples show low self-worth. When you feel the need to hide before leaving your door, you'll never make it.
You can gain self-worth though. People don't pay attention to what you look like as much as you'd think. Only the people who have low value to themselves will hang onto the negative things about others. They're not worth listening to. Negative people will just create more negativity. When you lessen your exposure to negative people, it makes it easier to work on the positive things about you.
You can look in the mirror and see past the "ugly" things. There is beauty in yourself and it's deeper than your skin. You may have seen the most skin beautiful person, then heard them speak just to find out how ugly they truly are with prejudices toward everyone. You may also have overlooked truly beautiful people because you only looked skin deep at them.
When you look past your mirror and see what you really have to offer the world, you can see how beautiful you are. What do you have to offer the world? Are you kind? Do you do your work efficiently? Are you a good parent? Do you cook well? There is always something you are good at and you can start with that one thing and move onto other things you are good at.
The most beautiful people see themselves as worth helping others instead of hindering them. When you go out into the world, you'll see people who need the help, when it's easy for you to help others, they'll see you as kind and remember you for your actions. (People will see you for being a jerk also, I still remember one guy who had nothing good to say to his girlfriend all through the store, then when she wanted to donate to the local food shelf, he went off on a rant about how everyone should have to take care of themselves, no matter what. I hope he never loses his job and becomes homeless because he'll become what he is against, but I feel that he's be the first to beg for a roof and, after a week of starving, food too.)
Stop comparing yourself to others. There is only one you and if you're not being you, then who is? When you're not being you, then who are you being?
So go out there and be your best you. You may feel like you can't right now, but if you fake it, one day it will be something you do naturally because you will have gained the self-esteem you need to wander the world. Practice makes perfect, and this is true with practicing your social fears too.
Today's Holidays: National Radio Day, National Chocolate Pecan Pie Day and Lemonade Day (although I don't suggest the two together, that just doesn't sound like it would taste good together).