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    RORYLYONS   182,726
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints

Who me old

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

I thought you could use a good laugh!


A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked

An older gentleman was
on the operating table
awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son;
do your best,
and just remember,
if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me,
your mother
is going to come and
live with you and your wife...."
Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say "you don't look that old."

The older we get,
the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
(Mostly because we forgot why we were waiting in line in the first place!!)

Some people
try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know why
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied
and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.

One of the many things
no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change
from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
Two guys, one old, one young,
are pushing their carts aroundWal-Mart
when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying attention
to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well,
maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?"
The young guy says,
"Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,
with red hair,
blue eyes, long legs,
and is wearing shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter,
--- let's look for yours."

(And this final one especially for me,)
keep Your arm around my shoulder
and Your hand over my mouth!"

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MSKRIS7 8/21/2013 9:09AM


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PATJOONWW 8/20/2013 9:42PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing!

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MJ7DM33 8/20/2013 9:34PM

  WOW! These are emoticon Thx for sharing!

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LAURELSPARK 8/20/2013 4:45PM


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CATLADY52 8/20/2013 3:58PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JTREMBATH 8/20/2013 2:56PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DJ4HEALTH 8/20/2013 1:01PM


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BAMAJAM 8/20/2013 11:30AM

  Oh -- I loved the one where the son is the surgeon -- Hilarious!

( Also, I once saw a bumper sticker that said--
Be nice to your kids; they will choose your nursing home )

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MERRYMARY42 8/20/2013 11:24AM

    they are great, really laughed at the first one emoticon

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RSSSLHB 8/20/2013 7:20AM

    emoticon emoticon blog emoticon

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RASPBERRY56 8/20/2013 5:07AM


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YMWONG22 8/20/2013 2:00AM

  Giggles ... love the jokes. Sure can use a laugh at any time.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSY455 8/20/2013 1:40AM

    emoticon Rory! emoticon

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KIM22211 8/20/2013 1:23AM

    lol!!! In 7 weeks I will turn 50! So I really enjoyed this!! Thanks!

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