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    MUSICNERD1993   4,354
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Nobody's perfect.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

This past week has been tough and I've pretty much been an emotional wreck.
I'm home again in my apartment and since my roommate is still out of town, I've had some alone time to think (and eat, unfortunately.) I'm trying not to beat myself up over my eating. These bad habits aren't ones that can easily be changed overnight and the things that have happened have made it hard for me to focus on it as much as I would like.
One thing is for sure, though-- I am still working on it. My mindset is slowly, but surely, changing.
After having some time to clear my mind and think (without being constantly yelled at), I sought out the things that make me happy, the reasons why I keep pushing myself no matter how hard it gets.

emoticon Teaching. Something I will always love. I have the opportunity to make a difference in other's lives. I have the chance to influence and change lives. And that is such a wonderful thing. This is why I strive to be the best teacher I can possibly be.
I was thinking about a former teacher the other day...one that I had in middle school. Even though we didn't talk much, she changed my life. I remember her kindness and her apparent passion for teaching. She gave me strength to push on through a tough time when I was being hurt both at home and at school. She was the only one to ever say anything about my bruises. As a result, I wasn't hit as much at home. I don't think she realized what a difference she made in my life, so I found her contact information and emailed her. I thanked her for what she did and for inspiring me to keep pushing on, and told her how I am at college studying Music Education. I wasn't even sure if it would go through, but it did...and she responded! It was so nice to hear from her and it helped me feel a lot better.
emoticon
emoticon School. I just love learning, and always will. I enjoy putting full effort into my work. This is one part of my life where I am successful and I'm proud of myself for maintaining a 4.0!
emoticon Music. I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Music is always there, and always will be. Being able to share this with my students and seeing their accomplishments and growth through music is the best feeling in the world!
emoticon Friends. Including my SparkFriends! I'm so lucky to have such great friendships and support. I love and cherish my friendships very much.
emoticon Dreams of the future. I can always dream of one day having my own, close family and being a successful music educator, having a car, reaching my goal weight, etc. And I can work towards making those dreams a reality.

Things may not be great right now, but I have decided to allow myself to be happy. Maybe I'm expected to be hurting, crying, running back to my family, giving up, or whatever. I don't know. All I know is that, I have too much good stuff going on to allow that to happen. I am incredibly lucky. And while it is not likely to be happy every minute of my journey, I am overall happy.

And no matter what life throws at me, I will get through it. I will push on and I will never give up.

Thanks to my fellow Sparkers for helping me get back on my feet. emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TREV1964 8/21/2013 9:55PM

    You seem to be in such a better place than you were at the writing of your last blog. I am so pleased to see this and hope everything continues to go OK for you.

You always know where I am.

Cheers

Trev

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INSH8P 8/21/2013 5:39AM

    I use SparkCoach. The motivational quote today came from Marva Collins.
If you have time, and can do an internet search using "Marva Collins success", find the link that includes "edocere". That link has her biography, and some wonderful quotes to sustain your motivation to be the best teacher that you want to be... emoticon

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CATHOLICCORGI 8/20/2013 11:11AM

    Not only are you gifted in music, you are talented as a writer, too!
I hope you are keeping a journal, as one day you can use what you have been through either as inspiration for music, or a book! My writings from years ago also prove to me how God has had a hand in my life, and how "this too shall pass".
Stand up for yourself, and remember YOU matter, and are worth every effort you make to improve yourself!
You are going to make a fantastic teacher! Your head and heart are in the right place, and keep putting one foot forward, one day at a time. Life happens, and you ARE victorious!
emoticon emoticon
emoticon for sharing from your heart, and writing a blog we all needed to "hear" !!

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WRITINGRUNNER 8/20/2013 3:31AM

    This is a lovely blog. You have so many good things in your life.. Keep going emoticon

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