Well here I am at the half way mark...I said I would try diet and exercise for 3 months, then evaluate my results and decide what to do next. It's been 6 weeks since I began consistently exercising and dieting, and I have been reasonably diligent about it so far.
However I am now entering the "Danger Zone", the point at which my willpower and dedication begins to falter. I have never made it past the 6 week mark before...I always give up at this point, in the past.
I thought I would feel super energized by making it to 6 weeks, like "I can do this...I've been doing it this long, I can keep on doing it!" But instead, I feel my routine beginning to wear on me. It's harder and harder to get to the gym. I keep going later and later in the day because I'm putting it off. The past two weeks, I have missed Wednesdays because I just didn't feel like working out. I tell myself every excuse in the book when it comes time to work out. Luckily, 4 out of 5 days per week (5 is my goal) ain't bad.
Ideally, I would like to keep exercising not for 3 months but for 6 MONTHS ... that is the point at which I will have my blood drawn again to check my cholesterol. I want to have a good checkup. But I have my doubts as to my ability to maintain my effort for so long. I am already having a monumentally hard time convincing myself to go to the gym. The original gusto of starting a new habit has worn off. I am really struggling.
With my diet, the biggest problem is that I have not seen ANY results. I have not lost a single pound, despite sticking to my diet 6 out of 7 days a week. Some people on the Spark message boards have said it can take up to 6 weeks to start losing. So in my mind, I want to keep trying this diet just as it is, without modification, for another 6 weeks. But my heart is not in it.
Because of the fact that i'm not getting results, I had a complete breakdown this weekend. It all started Saturday morning when I didn't measure my cereal. It was all downhill from there. I pigged out all day long. And at the end of the day while I was downtown, I said "screw it, I've come this far, I might as well eat a candy bar too." And I did. Food was my lover that day. I just felt so discouraged, like nothing I'm doing matters, so what the hell I'm going to eat.
Mentally, I WANT to keep trying. I want to exercise 5 days a week. I want to watch my calories. But the WILL to do so is fading.
Sorry to write such a depressing entry. The good news is I'm still pretty much on program, despite my reservations. It's more like a feeling like I might mess up, than an actual reality.
One bright note. I had my mom take my measurements the other day, and I had lost several inches all over. How that is possible, I do not know.