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    PINKYGALMISH   23,273
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Vitality Challenge Prompt 3

Monday, August 19, 2013

This prompt was all about the "shoulds" and how we should stop "shoulding" on ourselves - yes we should! :)

Here's my list of most common shoulds:

-I should lose weight.
-I should be more active.
-I should eat healthier.
-I should go to bed earlier.
-I should be doing something more important with my life.
-I should have a child (or two, or three!!!) by now.
-I should start couponing again to help us save money.

Thinking these things just makes me feel bad about myself; I feel like I'm somehow not good enough. For who? For myself? For the rest of the world? By saying "I should......", what I'm really telling myself is that whatever my current state of something is, it's not good enough. I should lose weight because I'm fat. I should be more active so I can lose weight because Im' fat........and it goes on and on.

OMG, light bulb moment: the shoulds are another form of negative self-talk. When I think how I "should" be doing something that I'm not, I think negatively about myself and instead of being inspired to change direction and make a change, it pushes me farther down the path that I don't want to be on in the first place!

I read this statement from Terrie, and TOTALLY identified with the "should" part of it: "For the longest time I was doing exercises as "shoulds" and once I started doing exercises that make me feel good I have started to see results and my real calling in life.". This week, instead of saying "I should go exercise now.". I'm going to say "I am going to go exercise now because it makes me feel good and is good for my body".
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FEMISLIM 8/20/2013 5:56PM

    Great!

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MIRMIUM 8/19/2013 10:28AM

    You are absolutely right. Shoulds are a form of negative self talk.and are actually considered a cognitive distortion! As I was reading your blog, I realized that you've got some great insights here which are much the same as I was thought when I did cognitive behavioural training. Thinking in terms of shoulds just promotes more negativity. What CBT would say is that you should take that should statement and change it to be more constructive and less judgmental! Here is a link to some common cognitive distortions! You can see that Should is on there!


http://psychcentr
al.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-
distortions/0002153

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CANDOK1260 8/19/2013 8:45AM

    I love your light bulb moment I Agree hold are negative talk grea blog very smarty written

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VEEBEE8 8/19/2013 3:19AM

    Totally agree with the "shoulds"! I find saying I "should" do something is basically like saying - I should.. but I don't want to! so a firm "this is what I'm going to do" usually works! emoticon

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