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It's Different This Time

Sunday, August 18, 2013

I know we've all heard that before. Well, for me, it damn well better be different this time because I seriously doubt there will be another time. My body is failing fast. I am weaker and fatter and sicker than I have ever been; than anyone should ever be. I am not really sure what exactly I weigh. A couple months ago I weighed at the doctor's office at 324. I'm pretty sure I've gained a few more since then. I can literally barely get from my bed to the car. I spend my entire day on a loveseat 6 feet from my bed. I am on a bunch of medications that make me feel like crap and now I'm having symptoms of congestive heart failure. I have never put a lot of faith in the traditional medical community but it's amazing what you'll give in to when you are actually afraid for you life. I am 51 years old and I want to do some more LIVING before I die!!

I have tried before, obviously. I tried Atkins and WW and just tracking food and trying to stay in the traditional healthy guidelines here on SP. All my life I've heard, "Make incremental changes. Small changes add up to big changes." I reduced my salt, I quit drinking soda years ago, I quit using added oils and other fats, (Boy do I miss deep fried okra!) I cut waaaay back on "whites" like white bread, potatos, rice, sugar. This has all been over the course of 25 years or so. In those years, I have gone from overweight at 220 lbs in my late 20s to over 335 or so now. I'm sick of people looking at me as if I must hoover cookies into my mouth all day. And most of all I'm sick of sitting in this house and feeling helpless and useless. I'm sick of being a horrible example of how to live a life to my kids, two of whom are still at home. No more small changes. Now, EVERYTHING changes. I'm gonna die or I'm gonna LIVE.

Friday (Thursday is grocery day - my son goes for me) I am starting a juice reboot a la the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Boy doncha know that title caught my attention. I thought they made a documentary about me!! LOL I watched that. I watched Forks Over Knives and I watched Food, Inc. I did my own research. I read more books than I'm going to list here right now. I have chosen my path. I will do a minimum 10 day juice fast, actually planning for a 30 day but we'll play it by ear. After the juice reboot, I will start the 6 week plan in Eat To Live. I am still trying to learn how, in my area, I can avoid GMOs and such but I will just do the best I can to get whole, unmodified foods. As I become more mobile, I can shop at the whole foods stores in Tulsa instead of just the supermarkets here in my small town.

So, how is it "different this time" for me? I don't give a craphat about conventional wisdom any more as it has gotten me to this point of being literally fat, sick and nearly dead. I don't give a tinker's damn about how I look or what other people think of how I look. I am doing this so that I can live. I am doing this so that I can enjoy living again.

I am not the least bit worried I won't stick. I'm not weak (mentally) and I'm not stupid. Show me something that makes sense and that actually works in the important ways and I WILL do it. And I have an advantage in that I very rarely leave my house right now. The food that is brought in is picked up for me by my son and he follows the list I give him to a tee. I also will have an advantage that for the first week at least, everyone in my house will be doing the same thing. We are using this next few days to get rid of ALL perishables in the house and putting all canned goods into storage. There won't be anything in this house that isn't on that eating plan. Do I feel guilty for my poor 17 and 19 year olds having to give up their lunchmeat and hot pockets? Nope. I feel good about doing this FOR them. My 17 year old has high blood pressure and weighs 280 lbs (she is 6'3" but still) My 19 year old has high cholesterol and weighs 260 or thereabouts. My son and dil are living with me right now but they are both nearing 400 lbs! They are having trouble conceiving a child mostly because of their weight and I fear that my 29 year old son will have a heart attack before I do!! I am showing them that getting your body the nutrients it needs to function correctly and to heal itself as God intended it to all along, you do what you need to do. It's priority one. Period.

So. That's where I'm at today. I've been on SP before but that person is gone. That person tried and tried and failed. This one is succeeding. This one is doing, not trying.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love your positivity! emoticon
    1226 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    Its emoticon you and your whole family is doing the healthy eating, you are giving your family a best present ever.

    Keep it up I know you can do it

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1244 days ago
  • ADZY86
    Hi! I've just come across this blog. I am willing you on. You sound so ready to do this, and to inspire your family to do the same. Funnily enough, I just watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead last night with my mum, and we've decided to start juicing a few times a week too.
    I'm going to subscribe to your blogs to, so I can see how you're going and give you support and take motivation from you too. Thank you so much. Good luck. emoticon
    1246 days ago
    Thank you so much KRICKET4! I figured it would take me weeks to find supportive people. I didn't figure anyone would read my first blog and all these amazing, supportive people have reached out to me. It is really amazing:) I am much too young to feel this darn old, as the old song says, so I'm going to do something about that!
    1247 days ago
    Awesome that your entire family will participate. This makes it a lot easier and you guys can support each other and keep each other on the straight and narrow.
    My man had a heart attack at 51, and has completely turned his life around since then. You're still young with a lot of life to live. You can make this happen.
    Please keep us updated on your progress. We're here to support you!
    1247 days ago
    TIME2BLOOM4ME Thank you so much for the support. That support will help me through the hard times, I know. I will be there for you too:)

    AMARILYNH Thank you for reading my blog:) I have already "laid down the law" about the food in the house. LOL The AMAZING thing is that not one of the family has had one single complaint. With my bunch, that is epic!
    1247 days ago
    When I read about your fast the first question I though of was whether you'd 'met' Doctor Furman - I'm happy to see that you have. He is a true advocate for healthy fasts - I wish you all the best as you take back your life and encourage the rest of your family members to take back theirs. I'd encourage to make them PROMISE not to bring anything other than the foods/beverages on your plan into the house - that should really, really help!! Sending prayers for strength your way!! emoticon emoticon
    1247 days ago
    Hello friend. I too like you am very ill with MS and who knows what else. I will help support you on your journey. I am drinking some fresh homemade juice right now. If you even need help let me know. emoticon
    1247 days ago
    Thank you so much MIRANDACA:) I can look back now and see so many little things that have been preparing me to make this change. I feel so empowered and prepared I can't describe it. I'm so ready for Thursday to get here so I can get all the veggies and get started! I know there will be hard days and I am really hoping for the support here on SP to get me through those days.
    1249 days ago
    Congratulations on taking back your life! (((Nataliemichaele))) I'm rooting for you and I'm fighting the good fight right along with you. I'm currently at 232 and I can't tell you how much better I feel on the ETL plan. I also watched Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead and bought a juicer, which I use pretty often, in fact, you'll need it for many of Fuhrman's recipes. I also like to make my own v-8 juice which is sodium free and so delicious. (celery, bell pepper, tomatoes, carrot & onion) This also makes a wonderful soup base for healthy vegetable stews.

    I've subscribed to your blog and I can't wait to share this journey with you. YOU CAN DO THIS!
    1249 days ago
    Thank you both so much! I need all the support I can get:)
    1250 days ago
    You are off to a good start with a new and healthy diet in place! emoticon
    I am subscribing to your blog as well, to provide support and encouragement for you.
    Good luck and best wishes to you and your family! emoticon emoticon
    1250 days ago
    GOOD FOR YOU. I will subscribe to your blog and try to offer you some support. Go for it!
    1250 days ago
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