Sunday, August 18, 2013
It is true. I am so afraid of failure that I don't allow myself to succeed.
I am so afraid of success because I always feel like a failure.
It is true that I lost 55 pounds, and after 2 years put more than half of it back. Did you notice that? I just mentioned (again) how I am not successful because I failed to keep it off. I gained it back because I felt like I wasn't completely successful and I needed to be "the person I truly am".
Of course, none of this was a conscious effort to hurt my hard work. Rather, it was only this week that I recognized my own contempt for myself.
According to "maintaining a Healthy Weight" article in the Wellness section of Spark people, it says, :
Begin with some simple daily affirmations and positive self-talk when things are going well. Acknowledge when you’ve done well, and take appropriate credit for what you’ve accomplished—don’t pass it off as a fluke, or tell yourself you couldn’t have done it without someone else’s help. You may have had help, and it’s fine to thank the people who helped you, but recognize that you are the one who succeeded. Keep a list of these small and large accomplishments; read and update it every day. Recognize the skills and positive characteristics that enabled you to succeed, and write them down. Start with the basics:
I am a good person, and I deserve respect.
I choose to respect myself today by refusing to engage in verbal or emotional self-abuse.
I have been successful at many things I have set out to do, and I can learn to do better at the things that give me problems.
Now, I need to practice it. Not easy... I will have to learn to believe that I am worthy of respect both from others and myself.