Saturday, August 17, 2013
I've been in a funk for a while and I have been struggling to put together the pieces. But then I had a small "aha" moment:
1. I have been feeling overwhelmed a lot lately. Part of it is my ADHD and will always be something that I need to manage, but this has been more than usual. Between the final push for DH to finish his degree last May (and I to take on more so he could focus on his studies) and child care falling through this summer (not a good thing for the self-employed), I've been pushing myself to stay awake longer to try to accomplish as much as possible.
2. I wake up with a really good attitude. Like, "I am just going to nail it today." Eating in the morning is never a problem. I typically don't have much of an appetite, so I just keep it small. Lunch is usually well-controlled, too. The amount I can do is hit or miss depending on if I have child care and how long the to-do list is (too many things lead to the aforementioned overwhelm, which can lead to analysis paralysis).
3. As I hit the afternoon, it all starts to fall apart. I have more cravings and less ability to resist them. I am feeling exhausted, but I push through because I have "so much to do."
4. I try to stay up later than my husband so I can get some distraction-free time to work. More often than not, I fall asleep at my computer, wake up at some wee hour of the morning, and drag myself to bed for a few more hours of sleep.
Not a good pattern to be in at all.
You may be reading this and thinking, "Really? Of course your lack of sleep is a problem!" And I get how sadly obvious this should be, but when you are in the eye of a storm, you don't necessarily get the full extent of the chaos that is happening around you.
While the sleeplessness is not the entire source of my issues, it certainly is a contributing factor. So one thing that I am going to dedicate myself to for the next couple weeks is to get enough sleep. Going to bed no later than 10:30 pm, and sleeping at least 7 hours.
I know my erratic sleep schedule has probably messed me up, so it might take some time to get used to something normal. But it will be interesting to see what this one thing will do to affect the rest of my efforts.