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Saturday, August 17, 2013

Whatís going on with me? Good question! I find Iíve once again been placing my work first when I should really be placing myself first.

I have been struggling to figure out what eating plan is best for me. Itís been increasingly difficult for me to find time in which to cook. I feel like I keep going in fits and starts.

Sometimes Iíve just been eating whatever I feel like eating because Iím tired of restraining myself and just want to feel I have some liberty in my life. Then there have been quite a few binges. I took a class once in which we discussed the definition of a binge: Mindlessly consume a large quantity of food. Donít really taste the food and it does matter if hungry or not. Afterwards feel guilty. Lately, Iíve fit into the entire definition except for feeling guilty. I just donít want or care to feel guilty. I know what Iíve done is wrong but it doesnít help to beat myself up about it.

Watched a spider spinning a web this morning through the binoculars. Its web spanned the space between two trees. What must it feel like to spin a web? Spin is a good word for it since the spider travelled round and round in circles.

I took a nap today and it felt wonderful. It was like giving myself a gift.

I have been neglecting working on my website thatís my goal for getting away from having to work for others. I need to get back into this and figure out how to make my priorities really be my priorities.

I am very thankful to have such a wonderful man in my life as well as two fantastic cats and one amazing rat. This morning, when I awakened I felt in awe of how special it was to wake up and be around these very special presences in my life. First thing in the morning is a precious time of day to me.

I am so tired of being overweight and I can feel the strain itís placing on my knees. Iím hoping I can get a plan sorted out that will work for me. I do believe that having a plan is very importantÖrather than just ďgoing with the flowĒ.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ME_HERE_NOW 8/20/2013 8:43AM

    i hope you find the strength within yourself to do what makes YOU happy. since morning is such a sacred time of day for you, i am wondering if you could take 10 minutes to sit quietly and do a little writing in that early morning light, before the world has infiltrated -

i read this article, and while i haven't got fully into the flow of morning pages, i have attempted to, and would like to really embrace making this a part of my day - now that i actually get up in the morning, lol, might be time to try again.

make time and space for YOU, turn off work when you leave and keep being thankful for the good things while you wait for the door to new things to open up a crack for you to sneak in ;) all my love friend!

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THEADMIRAL 8/19/2013 4:01PM

    emoticon I can understand, it IS hard to make ourselves a priority and to make good health our goal. Be gentle with yourself and never give up.

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FITN2014-TSP 8/18/2013 11:37PM

    Jasmine it is so good to know that you have wonderful person to share your life with and I too am in awe of have comforting pets can be.

Weight loss is all up hill. Focus, discipline, determination are key but emotion seems to trump those in an instant. It is an up hill battle.

Best wishes on your journey... You are not alone.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AJDOVER1 8/18/2013 2:58PM

    you're in my prayers.
The first step is awareness. Now let's make a plan and put it into action.

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ATHENA130 8/18/2013 9:36AM

    Hi Jasmine - I could have written this blog! I'm in a similar place but I feel I'm getting on the right track for moving forward. I have been like that for probably the past year and a bit - always putting work and everything else first. I finally hit the wall so to speak with work - I was putting in so much time and effort (and working weekends for the first time ever) and it just wore me out and no one at work cared just wanted me to do more and more for them. Instead of working on priorities that would allow me to leave that job, I ended up doing the opposite. I finally realized that people (or at least the ones I work with/for) don't really appreciate the effort and can't tell the difference between someone doing things efficiently and putting in effort and someone who is not but manages to get it done at a slower pace. I realized I couldn't be this stressed out anymore and they weren't going to do anything - I had to be the one to do it. So I'm slowly starting to shift priorities and realize that it's OK to put myself first - never really accepted it before but now I do.

So I started with working out - I was kind of just doing whatever workout I felt like but I realized to get back on track, I needed a schedule. So I picked a rotation and am following it no matter what. So far so good and I'm adding in extra workouts too.

Eating is always the hardest part for me - sometimes following a specific plan can make me crazy so I haven't done that. I am just trying to follow basic principles and not overeat as much as possible. I have had a hard time trying to want to cook as well but as I focus on some of my other priorities, I find it helps with others - staying within a budget and then I am more motivated to cook and not go to the grocery store as often.

It sounds clichť but I think it really is small steps. I know you will figure it out!

Comment edited on: 8/18/2013 9:37:01 AM

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    What does it take to get re-committed?

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/17/2013 10:44PM

    I'm in a similar place. I need to eat right for my health but am not committed enough yet and am binging again.

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