Saturday, August 17, 2013
What’s going on with me? Good question! I find I’ve once again been placing my work first when I should really be placing myself first.
I have been struggling to figure out what eating plan is best for me. It’s been increasingly difficult for me to find time in which to cook. I feel like I keep going in fits and starts.
Sometimes I’ve just been eating whatever I feel like eating because I’m tired of restraining myself and just want to feel I have some liberty in my life. Then there have been quite a few binges. I took a class once in which we discussed the definition of a binge: Mindlessly consume a large quantity of food. Don’t really taste the food and it does matter if hungry or not. Afterwards feel guilty. Lately, I’ve fit into the entire definition except for feeling guilty. I just don’t want or care to feel guilty. I know what I’ve done is wrong but it doesn’t help to beat myself up about it.
Watched a spider spinning a web this morning through the binoculars. Its web spanned the space between two trees. What must it feel like to spin a web? Spin is a good word for it since the spider travelled round and round in circles.
I took a nap today and it felt wonderful. It was like giving myself a gift.
I have been neglecting working on my website that’s my goal for getting away from having to work for others. I need to get back into this and figure out how to make my priorities really be my priorities.
I am very thankful to have such a wonderful man in my life as well as two fantastic cats and one amazing rat. This morning, when I awakened I felt in awe of how special it was to wake up and be around these very special presences in my life. First thing in the morning is a precious time of day to me.
I am so tired of being overweight and I can feel the strain it’s placing on my knees. I’m hoping I can get a plan sorted out that will work for me. I do believe that having a plan is very important…rather than just “going with the flow”.