Friday, August 16, 2013
PRAISE GOD FOR A BONUS!! I finally caught a break (miracle) financially. My hubby got a well deserved bonus, not huge but enough that I get to go out and enjoy my anniversary.
Today is my 10th wedding anniversary and we are going out (kid free) for a few hours to celebrate. It is so hard to believe we have been married for 10 years......WOW! I know it is a drop in the bucket compared to many couples who have been to gather for 50 or 60 years.
It is a good start though. LOL
On the weight front I am trying really hard to not eat my emotions and hold on to the weight loss I have already achieved. I have not gained any but I am not losing either.
I am embarrassed that I have failed to reach a goal any goal.....I will though. One day at a time, one revelation at a time as I discover how to be healthy. I always lose a good amount then I sabotage myself. Fear of success? No, fear that when I reach that ever elusive "perfect weight" I will still be unsatisfied with what I am. I can not imagine really being satisfied with what I look like......I know Universal Problem for women. I try to put up a strong front, I am determined, but inside (sometimes) I am just a little fat girl looking for that magic cupcake that makes everything good again. no matter how fleeting that "good" is. An addict, for lack of a better word. Health is always one salad, one jumping jack, one weight loss article way. Forever reaching never really getting a grasp on it. I will............I WILL!! For today though I am going to enjoy my husband and kids.....I am going to revel in the joy that my family brings and put all the struggle on the back burner and celebrate 1o years of marriage. If I can live through the struggle of learning to live with another person and not come to or cause any bodily harm....(we all know no matter how much you love each other there are days....) I can do anything. Super me!!! LOL
Happy day to all, hope you are still fighting the good fight, and killing any giant that stand in your way. imagined and otherwise.