Friday, August 16, 2013
Hi again SparkFriends! It's the usual story - crazy busy. The past month has included ups and downs, and while I would estimate they were about equal in amounts, it's sometimes difficult to recall accurately. My calendar of stickers for non-binge days seems to suggest that it's been a fairly average month.
I'm still struggling with managing to get enough sleep. Most nights it's still 5-6 hours of sleep, with a few less (!) and fewer nights with more, but not much more. I'm pretty certain this has contributed to my vulnerability to binge on the days that I did, but I haven't been able to discipline myself to just go to sleep. I resolve to change that for tonight, though! It is a little ridiculous. Sometimes I'll start getting tired in the afternoon, but push through it, fearing it'll mess up my sleep schedule more if I nap, and have all intentions to just go to sleep early...but then by the time evening rolls around, I get a second wind and stay up late again. It does catch up to me after a week or so, sometimes in the form of a horrible binge. Sigh!
Part of the reason I'm blogging now is because I do have a slight urge to binge, and I am tired. I'm not craving any food in particular (actually I feel perfectly satisfied physically), but I think I feel guilty about the amount of food I consumed already today, because I was definitely overeating. However, I'm trying to convince myself that this is totally black-and-white thinking, and that it's not worth a binge, especially because even though I overate, it was all healthy, normal meal food, and if I were to binge, I would try (how's this for messed up thinking?) to binge on desserts, even though I don't particularly crave them, just because that's binge mentality. It really makes no sense. I think I'm going to be ok, but I'm trying to be on the safe side because I do feel a slight physical discomfort and anxiety about the overeating.
Time to get to bed soon, so here are my positives!
+ I had a delicious lunch of these big sandwiches with my friend at a sandwich place she hadn't been to before. I usually get their Reuben sandwich, but today I made it a point to try something new. We got a roast pork w/ jack cheese and a turkey, jack and avocado sandwich and split them, so I got a half of each and thus got to try two new sandwiches!
+ I've been getting back to running. My hip was acting up a bit this week but the past 2 weeks I've been pretty happy with how I've felt and am so grateful to be back on the trails more regularly.
+ I went out to the mountains with two of my friends and watched the Perseid meteor shower last Saturday night/Sunday morning! We saw a lot of meteors, tons of stars, and even the Milky Way. Totally worth the sleep deprivation that night. :)
+ I went to this open-streets event, where about 5 miles of streets were closed off from cars, so that people could freely bike, roller skate, skateboard, walk, etc. and explore that portion of the city. As someone who would love to bike commute more but is scared of cars, this felt like freedom! It was a lot of fun and I couldn't stop smiling. It was in an area of the city I don't usually go to so it was nice to explore it in this way.
+ I haven't been in the ocean in a few weeks, but I finally got together some friends and we're going snorkeling tomorrow at 6am!
+ My last meeting with my advisor was July 1st, but I've had a lot to think about since then, and still have a lot to do. It is so much better than being stuck.
+ Work has been super busy and there are deadlines by the end of the month, but I'm quite excited about what projects I'm working on.