My goals and tough questions
Thursday, August 15, 2013
I think everybody, at some time or other, thinks about their weight at how it affects them. My husband, for example weighs well over 340 pounds. He refuses to take influence from me to lose the weight and insists that he is "big boned" insinuating that he is fine the way he is. Yet, he still goes through periods of fasting and binge afterward, which indicates that he is aware of his weight and wants to lose it. He just doesn't know how, nor does he want to admit this to me or sometimes, even to himself.
My kids are each affected by their own weight as well as the image that my husband and I individually feel about ourselves. They project their own beliefs about weight onto themselves. My daughters are very conscious of their weight, any gains and losses and are still able to control it.
I was able to control my weight when I was their age. I even almost lost all the weight I had gained and met my goal, but my self image was shattered and I haven't forgiven the people that sabotage my efforts. I certainly hurt only myself, but I have a mental block and I am not sure how to change things.
I want to lose weight because I can't breathe as well when I am heavy. I can't move as fast and I tire more easily. I know that I am shortening my life span at this weight and the quality of life deteriorates. This is why I want to lose weight. I want to live a long - movement filled life. I want to be riding my bike at 90 (even though I don't ride it at 47.) I want to go hiking and work in the yard without huffing and puffing. I want to play with my grandchildren without fat rolls making it hard to get up and down.
But if my husband's health deteriorates and he needs full time care, or he leaves this world early and I am alone for a long time, will I be happy? If he doesn't want me to lose the weight, is the effort worth it?
How do others answer these tough questions?