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    LILLIPUTIANNA   39,289
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints

Dispatch From My Dark Corner

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Well, Sparkers...

...I'm sitting here, hiding in my dark corner, at work. If you've read some of my other blogs, you might know that I have one former friend who always gives me crap about my weight, and a former best friend who gets a little creepy sometimes. They are both members of the same committee, and they will be attending a meeting in the room right next to my work area, just as soon as they've finished up with lunch.

I've already run into the one who gives me crap about my the hallway. That's how I know about the meeting.

The other former friend, I haven't seen him yet, and that's why I'm hiding.

I'm absolutely starving, but I think the only thing that could get me out of this room and into the hallway is a fire in the building. Yes, I know it's cowardly of me! I should be out there, being strong, but I just can't make myself do it.

The part that really rattles me is at any moment, they could come bursting into my space to ask for help with something...or for my opinion, since their meeting is about the coming year in my department.


I'm watching the time slip away as I write this, and I am becoming more and more anxious.

Where's all my inner strength gone to?

I need to stop allowing them to manipulate me like this!

Be strong Sparkers! If you promise to be strong, I will promise to be strong!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LILLIPUTIANNA 8/17/2013 2:25PM

    KIKIMAV, I really am trying to get past my obvious fear of running into these people. And I'm not really afraid of THEM. I'm afraid of the awkwardness that always results from having to talk to them. This is especially true for Mr. Creepy McCreeperton, who makes sad, puppy dog googly eyes at me whenever we're in the same room together.

There's only one person on this planet who I am actually afraid of. I used to work for a Senator. I'm not naming any names, but that woman scares the hell out of me.

Comment edited on: 8/18/2013 12:55:45 PM

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KIKIMAV 8/17/2013 1:27PM

    well, saying "don't let the assholes get you down" is not very helpful, because when you are around people like that it is inevitable to feel negative.
I propose, instead of trying to fight or repress these negative feelings, try to transform them! If they make you feel bad about yourself , turn that into feeling negative towards them, even better get angry and mad at them! And this is an occasion you can use your sharp tongue freely emoticon
It might be liberating!

P.S. I now read on the comments, you left! Good for you! You have already spent enough time and energy on them for one day!

Comment edited on: 8/17/2013 1:29:01 PM

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DS9KIE 8/16/2013 12:09PM

    Glad you got out of there...I don't blame you for not wanting to be around negative people..but I think you look great and they are only lying when they say stuff about your weight

emoticon emoticon

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SIRENSONGS 8/16/2013 9:42AM

    And I thought I was the only one who sometimes hid from my co-workers. Now I don't feel so alone anymore! lol

Seriously, though, I'm sorry you have to go through this. Hell really is other people, sometimes.

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NATHELESS 8/16/2013 8:27AM

    Avoidance is a completely sound strategy/response. It sounds like they are not always in your space, which is a good start.

They both sound awful, esp.former friend. Of course you don't want to be around those two, if you have the choice!

When you don't have a choice, you still have a choice. You can always choose to let their BS be their problem and politely steer the conversation back to work. Or say you have to go back to work. Polite and professional FTW. You don't have to engage with them about any personal topic you don't want to, even if they're standing right there. Huh. Interesting. Thanks for your concern. So, about work-thing...

(I'm going to take my own advice next time I visit my parents, who are also boundary-challenged.) (Apologies for the unsolicited advice, btw, I guess I am boundary challenged, too. Hopefully, not too bad a violation in this context!)

Good luck! I am sure you will make the right choices for you!

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ADIOSALL 8/15/2013 7:41PM

    I promise emoticon

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ICEDEMETER 8/15/2013 7:08PM

    Too funny!

Hope you both enjoyed the eggs --- and that you have a great evening!

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LILLIPUTIANNA 8/15/2013 5:35PM

    I bravely ran away. I popped my head out of my office. When I saw the coast was clear, I turned to the coworker next to me and said, "Time to go get something to eat!" And I went.

Of course I didn't bother to add that I was going to get something to eat at home...and wasn't coming back.

So, Wee Doggie and I shared some scrambled eggs (her favorite).

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ICEDEMETER 8/15/2013 4:03PM

    Not cowardice --- just the sense to know that it's not wise to engage in a battle until you choose the time, the place, and know that it's worthwhile to you. Right now, it just isn't.

You KNOW your own strength; what you've been through; what you've triumphed over; and what you accomplished to be who you are now. Those are things that they don't know, and aren't any of their business. Those are also your "secret weapon" when you do decide that the time is right, since it's your past that has given you the strength.

Hang in there - the day will pass soon enough, and you can go home and give Wee Doggie a cuddle, go for a gentle walk to stretch out the achy knees, and deal out some death in a video game to get your equilibrium back...

Strong thoughts! emoticon

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LILLIPUTIANNA 8/15/2013 3:57PM

    It's true, ECHABOR. The one who bullies me gets all of her self worth from being a bully. She's amazingly athletic and an accomplished scholar, but I have heard her say that she feels like a fraud, that someone is going to figure out that she's a fake, and they'll kick her out of here. When we were friends, I felt really bad for her. When I gained the weight, and she started saying rude things to me, I was hurt. After dealing with her for a couple of years, I've come to realize that she feels the need to surround herself with people who "look right" in order to maintain her image of being perfect.

Of course, it still hurts when she says snarky things.

Comment edited on: 8/15/2013 5:30:35 PM

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ECHARBOR 8/15/2013 3:41PM

  If someone is harassing you or making negative comments about you or to is because they do not feel good about themselves and misery loves company. If those people have to in effect "bully" you.....think about how their own low self worth is so very bad that the only way they can feel better is to "beat up" someone else. Yes look at who and why those comments are coming from and ;you will be able to laugh at them. BECAUSE YOU don't have to do what they are doing to make yourself feel better.

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