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    S3XY_DIVA_QUE3N   19,440
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to weigh or not to weigh... (and other things)

Thursday, August 15, 2013

I said in a previous post that I am not weiging myself right now, nor was I planning to any time soon. I stand by my reasoning. It isn't an accurate measure of how hard I am working or my accomplishments and generally serves only to discourage and disappoint me.
However.... I have been thinking the past few days that I should weigh in now when I am near the beginning of my fitness journey so that I have a gauge of my progress for the future. My fear is that I will see my weight after consistently working out for 6 weeks and I will be so disappointed that I will lose motivation. So I decided to take a poll and see what my wise spark friends think. Thoughts? Advice?
Other updates....
Nutritionally I have been slacking. A lot. Fast food is my battle enemy and has been winning. The really ridiculous thing is that I don't even enjoy it that much. My tastes have become more refined in the past few years and I truly prefer healthy, fresh, high quality food. I also feel better when I eat it. (duh) And I know it. I know when I am about to eat a bag full of greasy, salty fast food that it is going to make me feel gross. And I still eat it. Why? I don't know. A big part is habit I think and part emotional eating. I know I do much better when I plan ahead and have an idea of what meals I will be having for the week. Sometimes I wish I had someone following me around and smacking me on the head like those v8 commercials...
I have been falling victim to some negative thinking lately. Usually I am a very positive person, but we all have those "mind traps" we fall into. One thought that I have been stuck on lately is that I will never be able to overcome nearly 30 years of bad habits. I know I am trying to build a healthy lifestyle, one that I can maintain and hopefully pass on to my (hypothetical) kids someday. But then I think about my current lifestyle and how long I have been living it and it just seems like this rut. No, that's not right. Not a rut. Like a giant pit of blackness that I will never be able to climb out of.
How's that for positive thinking?
Half the battle of changing unhealthy habits is changing the way we think about things. I am a firm believer that the one thing we can control in life is our own reactions. That being said, I am struggling to rearrange my thinking from defeated to hopeful and optimistic.
I still enjoy going to the gym most days. In that aspect, my main struggle is just getting there. Once I'm to the gym I am fine. I do kickboxing and strength training mostly. My gym buddy and I were working on building our running endurance but we haven't been very consistent so I haven't seen a lot of progress in that area.
My life beyond fitness has been challenging lately. The big news there is that my father was recently diagnosed with kidney cancer. Specifically, transitional cell carcinoma. It occurs in the transitional layer of the kidney. We don't know what stage it is in yet or exactly what the next step is. Most likely he will have to have his right kidney and related lymph nodes and adrenal glands removed laproscopically. Traditionally, this is an open surgery but laproscopy has become the preferable method in recent years because it is less invasive.
Right now, I am processing this one step at a time. I am worried, but I don't want to let myself be too worried until I know more. I feel optimistic that we found it early (hopefully) and if it hasn't spread then with surgery we have a good chance of getting all of the cancer.
Maybe the way I'm really dealing with it is denial; as I'm sitting here writing all this and starting to tear up I think maybe I'm just not thinking about it too much. In the back of my mind I have the worst case scenario floating around, but I don't want to dwell on it.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 8/16/2013 12:44AM

    Weighing: If you want a starting weight, you don't actually have to see it. Ask someone to help you out and write down your weight while you keep your eyes shut. Then they can give you the number at a predetermined time (whatever you want it to be) so you can see the difference. Then you have the number for comparison without breaking your no weighing promise to yourself and without risking derailing if the number isn't what you want it to be.

Nutrition: What can you do to help avoid fast food? You could easy-to-make meals for the busy nights or do batch cooking on the weekends that you can heat-and-eat during the week. Try driving home a different way so you avoid seeing the fast food restaurants you frequent - this could help you avoid the trigger of seeing a place and hitting the drive thru out of habit. Bring along a healthier snack for in the car. If you're already eating you're less tempted to stop for food. At minimum, if you can't avoid, at least make the better choice - pre-determine the healthier items you can get at your favorite places and vow to ONLY choose those items, OR choose a sandwich shop like Subway where you must choose what goes into the sandwich and have a pre-determined list of what sandwich you'll choose. The more hungry you are and the longer you look at your options the better the chance that you'll vote with your habits and your taste buds than with your brain and your body.

Gym: Can you keep your gym bag in your car so you can drive there straight from work? This will help you get to the gym and will help you avoid grabbing fast food - would you really grab fast food and eat it while walking into the gym? Make it easier to go to the gym than to skip it and you'll have an easier time going than talking yourself out of going. Schedule your gym time like a doctor appointment and know that similarly you'll face extra challenges should you skip it.

Sorry to hear about your father. Cancer sucks. Don't forget to allow yourself time to grieve the possible outcomes - away from your family, but possibly with a supportive friend who can focus only on your needs (in that moment) without feeling like their neglecting the rest of the family's needs. Once you've processed all the possible outcomes then you can accept what is happening right now and support him through this difficult time. Sometimes when you try to ignore the worst possible outcomes, those are the only ones you can focus on. When you recognize what is possible and what is probable - that he will be okay - then you can get to the acceptance easier. Being strong means sometimes breaking down then picking yourself back up and helping others do the same.

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LAWANDMUSIC 8/15/2013 9:38PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing! ONWARD!!

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/15/2013 1:02PM

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