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Wake Up Call

Thursday, August 15, 2013

I joined a gym at the beginning of June, I'm sure I went maybe 10 time over the course of 3 months... Why the heck am I paying THEM while I sit of my duff! They're just making money off me! For the past couple weeks I've been eating a lot better than normal, keeping snacking to a minimum, and carefully watching my portions. It's not that I eat bad things, I just eat too much! I don't eat until I'm satisfied, I eat until I feel miserable! I snack when I'm bored, and instead of snacking on a handful of nuts, I'm making a meal out of them!
This is almost the biggest I've ever been. I was such an athlete in highschool, played every sport; as soon as one season ended, I geared up for the next, eating everything in sight because I was working out so much. I weighed just under 100lbs, and I was pretty much all muscle. Fast-forward to 8 years later, and I'm 165 and a size 13 (which are fitting pretty snuggly on me now). I've dieted, and exercised, but it would only stick for a month at the most, and then I'd get tired, or I'd think, "Well, I can afford to eat this because I worked out" or, "I'll eat this but I'll do this to cancel it out" but then I'd never burn the calories that I was eating, so the weight just kept coming back on. I'm sure I've lost the same 5-10lbs countless times.
Yesterday, I went to the gym that has been making money off me for the past 3 months. I got a fitness assessment. While I knew exactly where I am at in my quest, it was a little hard to swallow to actually have it confirmed. I'm 26 years old, my blood pressure is not HIGH, but it's higher than it should be. My heart rate is also above normal, because it's working harder to keep up with the extra weight from my body, and from being a smoker.
It's hard to say, but I've been smoking since I was 13! That's half of my life! I've cut down quite a bit, but I haven't fully quit. I think I've come a long way though, I used to smoke almost 2 packs a day!!! I really want to get my eating habits in check for a little while before I fully kick the habit. The last time I quit, which was only a few months, I gained 20lbs from mindless snacking and something to keep my hands busy, or I was eating to keep my mind from wanting to smoke.
I hate starting all over again, but at the same time I think it's a good thing. Every time I start over, I'm a little bit wiser, not to make the same mistakes, but it's the motivation I need. I have the mind-set to DO IT! But when it comes to actually getting up and getting some movement in for the day, or stopping myself from taking another portion of a meal, that's where I'm lacking. My mind has the motivation, but my body does the opposite.
I have big goals in the back of my mind, but for right now I'm focusing on the small ones.
I have spurts of where I disappear from the SparkPeople world, but every time I come back, everyone is just as supportive, it's like I never left! I love SP, and I tell everyone about it.
So I just want to say to all Sparkies, THANK YOU for the continuing support!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon

    Don't give up on yourself! Take baby steps and one moment at a time :)
    1677 days ago
    maybe you could find someone on spark to go to the gym with you, i did and it has been the biggest motivator for me since i have joined spark. Like you i have lost and gained over and over. I want to just try to lose and stick to my goal weight this time. I wake up feeling so tired, but i drag my butt out of bed and go to workout and afterwards i feel so good and energized. I have found morning to be the best time for me because after work i feel useless most days. I really like the accountability of having a workout buddy, it keeps me motivated because i don't want to let her down. Give it a try, just make a post and find out who is near you that may be able to buddy up! emoticon
    1678 days ago
    yes i have the same problem. i like water exercises, so do go to those. good luck.

    i met with a dietician and going to see her again in 2 weeks.
    1680 days ago
    That's what we're all here for right emoticon

    emoticon emoticon
    1681 days ago
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