What I am about to share is not for everyone. This would be a perfect time to make your exit
. Yesterday I decided to have colon hydrotherapy, or a colonic. Why? With the stress of this last month (
) I have been snacking on some pretty non-nutricious items. Those little packaged, sweet, seemingly harmless delectibles that sit in the grocery aisle between chips and cereal. Those items have no nutritional value. They are full of carbs, sugar and sodium, and yet, I ate them. So much so that my tummy was bloated and yesterday morning I doubled over with sharp abdominal pains. Dreaded constipation. Those snacks were like cement in my colon. And it was also making me feel sluggish, unmotivated, tired and grumpy.
I have done colonics before. Three years ago. If you never have, let me explain. The Colon Lady or Man puts this instrument up your wahoo (anus
). It looks strikingly similar to an adult toy. The instrument has tubing running from it to this machine. Once the therapy begins, warm water is passed through the machine and into your colon and small intestine. The CL monitors your comfort level. She continues to fill your colon until it is uncomfortable. At that point she stops the water which causes a change in pressure. That then allows any trapped gas to make its way out of the other side of the tubing (the gas is typically what causes the discomfort). Once she releases the gas for you (in effect you are farting into the machine but with no sound or smell), she fills you with water again and repeats the process until you have had about 30 minutes of fill time. While this is all happening, your tummy gets all sorts of cramy and it actually swells. But the best part of the entire process is what happens next: the BM.
This is gross so I apologize in advance. After a colonic, the BM is fast and forceful. No pushing or straining necessary. I am pretty sure I released my 1993 Thanksgiving dinner. The colonic allows old, caked on gunk to fall off your colon walls. It also sheds fatty deposits that have been living in the colon walls. Truthfully, it sounds disgusting, and it is, but this port of the process was such a relief. I almost instantly felt better. When I finally goto ut of the restroom-15 minutes later- I felt lighter on my feet. I just felt healthier. It was the feeling you have after having the flu for several days and finally waking up better. That was yesterday. This morning I woke up and felt even better! I also immediately noticed that my tummy looked smaller. Tamed. Today I wore a black high-waisted, skirted business suit with a fitted white camisole. My friend Tricia looks at me and says, "Oh my gosh! Look at your stomach! You can totally tell the difference!" I think because of the types of foods I was eating, the colonic instantly made an impact because theya re all foods that go straight to the gut. But now, I need to ensure I don't retreat back to stress snacking.
Inspired by my cleanse I ate grapefruit, a banana, two strawberries and 1/3 cup of red grapes with blueberry oatmeal for breakfast. I didn't have time for a snack because I was so busy at work. Lunch was a cup of tomato florentine soup with 2 Saltine Crackers and a lovely salad with turkey, corn, blue cheese crumbles, 6 croutons and Craisins. My Light Ranch was on the side and I dipped my lettuce. I have already had one half gallon of water and am drinking more now. I intend to have salmon and yams for dinner. I only have 23 days until I become Mrs. Brown and I intend to do so in a fabulously healthy way!