Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Some Native American Indians believe that we are born with a triangle inside. It is said that when we do something bad the triangle turns causing pain for us. Because of the pain of the triangle turning we stop doing the bad things. On the other hand, if we continue to do bad things despite the pain eventually the sharp ends wear off the triangle & we are left with just a circle inside. That's why bad people can continue to do bad things seemingly without care. They no longer have a triangle with sharp ends causing them pain!
I think I was born with a triangle that had SPURS on the tips! Honestly! When I was a kid I couldn't THINK bad without tremendous amounts of guilt! Guilt to the point I was SICK! Some of that may have been our religion. What is that...you shouldn't covet??? THAT'S A SIN??? THINKING about WANTING somebody else's things??? Just a little insight to why I'M not religious??? IDK.
Anyway, after becoming an alcoholic I realized if I was going to live in guilt for every bad thing I did...let alone THOUGHT...I might as well just end it now! TRIED IT! God sent me back! Hm??? So, now what??? Get drunker to not care? TRIED IT!!! Still cared...just more foggily! So I did the thing I SHOULD have been taught. LEARN A LESSON! TAKE THE LESSON! LEAVE THE REST BEHIND!
Do I go around doing bad all the time then??? NO! Of course not! I only need so many lessons! Good Grief! In fact, I get told I'm TOO honest. I don't believe that. I think I don't use enough TACT! My filter is VERY thin. I don't ALWAYS mean for it to be. It just is. My mother had an even thinner filter. She told my cousin that she had "The ugliest baby I've ever see!" To add insult to injury when they got after mom for it her response was, "Well, it's the truth, ain't it?" I've never seen the baby, but I do know what my cousin looks like so I'm sure my mother was right!
Don't ask a question you don't want an answer to. But what if I want to share MY opinion with you??? TACT I suppose!
I took a homeless girl out to lunch rather than give her money. We talked while she ate because I wanted to make sure she ate. She was SO SKINNY! I know she was a drug addict. I started sharing my life with her & she told me she USED TO BE a junkie. I just looked at her & asked, 'When? 12 Minutes ago?' TACT??? I don't think so! Don't lie to me! I'm not an idiot! I HATE being lied to!
Is it lying when we OMIT information? Last Saturday I had plans to watch my grandsons. On Tuesday, Samantha told me Gabe needed to bring the kids over 2 hours earlier because somebody had unexpectedly quit & not bothered to call or anything so Gabe needed to work the shift. (He is the night GM at a restaurant) Gabe calls here (not knowing that Samantha had already gotten an okay from me) that morning & says, 'We had a guy unexpectedly quit. They called me in for his shift. Can I bring the boys over 2 hours earlier?' Is this a lie? I THINK that it is! What's REALLY stupid is that in the 6.5 years I've been Nana I probably have not said no more than 10 times!!! That REALLY upsets me! & THAT has only been when I was EXTREMELY sick. Like when I was losing 25 lbs in two months from colitis, or half my teeth were infected. BIG health issues!
I don't break the law. I don't steal. I don't cheat. I don't do drugs. I don't speed. I don't even jay walk...well, unless I NEED to...
Confessions from the junkie within:
I don't keep sugar in my house USUALLY!!! I had a giant chocolate candy bar for dinner last night. I had a half of cup of coffee with more creamer than coffee, 3 chocolate chip cookies & Pepsi for breakfast! So there it is! JUDGE ME!