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    SUNSHINE65   67,061
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...late night funnies...


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

President Obama is going to appear on ‘The Tonight Show’ with Jay Leno. That’s going to be awesome. The most powerful man in the country is going to interview President Obama. -Craig Ferguson

The big ‘Smurfs’ movie sequel is out. It’s cute little elves that live together in harmony. And the Pope said, ‘Who am I to judge them?’ -David Letterman

Edward Snowden, the guy who leaked all that information about the NSA, finally got to leave the Moscow airport this morning after being held there for five weeks. When asked what he wanted to eat, he said, ‘Anything but Cinnabon’. -Jimmy Fallon

Mayor Bloomberg wanted to outlaw giant sugary drinks. He wanted to try to force a ban on sugary sodas and they overturned it. That’s fine, but what about a ban on texting while you’re running for mayor? Why can’t we get a ban on that? -David Letterman

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. -Demetri Martin

A new study shows that large doses of Vitamin E do not protect against heart attacks and cancer, and might actually raise the risk of heart failure. The study was published in this month's Journal of Things that Scientists Told You to Do Last Month That Turned Out to Be Harmful This Month. --Dennis Miller

There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn about sex from their parents. My relationship with my father nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive. I can't imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me how to have sex. --Bob Smith
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