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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I've been very depressed lately. That would surprise people who know me personally; I'm actually a friend who lifts the spirits of those around me. My depression has come from my own inadequacies and the fear that I am, by nature, worthless. I know.... sounds really dark, but it usually doesn't last too long.

Because of SP coaching today, I'm to list three things I'm grateful for. I've kept gratitude journals in the past, but seemed to get stuck on a group of things to write down and it got too repetitive. Hence it really wasn't heartfelt gratitude.

Today, however, this is what I'm grateful for:

First, my husband. He's out of town right now, but before he left, he not only did work to prepare for the interviews he'll have this week, but filled up my car, got it washed, and straightened the kitchen, which I'd left messy the night before. He welcomes me with a hug every morning and sets an example of hard work and diligence for his somewhat more lazy wife.

My home, which consistently makes me feel good. It's well designed, kept cool in this Dallas summer heat, and because of my organic gardening habits has soil that is rich and friable.

My good night's sleep. I'm trying to establish a better sleep routine, and though last night I didn't get the 8 hours that is my goal, I feel rested and ready to work today.

Those are biggies, of course. My wish is to start noticing the little things, which is my nature, but I don't remember them long enough to write in a journal. Things like the coolness of shade on my morning walks, and the pleasure of seeing plants that are healthy and well nourished. Another blog, perhaps....

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I enjoyed reading this blog. Your husband sounds like he could be a "twin" to my beloved MrV. We are blessed to share our lives with such good men!

    God bless!
    1617 days ago
  • 8HABIT
    Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I sometimes feel like I am not sure how to move forward since I retired and the best time of my life is over.

    But I read once about a young woman who lost both legs in an motorcycle accident and she said what she missed most was the feel of a cool, bare floor in the morning. Every morning when I make my coffee and feel the cool, bare kitchen floor, I thank God that I can do that still.


    1649 days ago
    I know that dark place and the feeling of worthlessness, despite any achievements. It does pass quickly but I've not found a way to get rid of it totally.

    We should all remember our blessings as there are many who are not as lucky in either health, career, relationships or life in general.

    I have a larger than life friend who, in her early 40's, suffered nerve damage to the top of her neck which has left her paralysed and, some days, with poor speech which makes her frustration level rise. There was no accident, it was just a breakdown of a major nerve junction box between spine and brain.
    She no longer works, can't drive and is reliant on her family and external carers to do the most normal everyday things.

    When I start to have a dark period, I think of her and remind myself how precious the smallest things in life are and how blessed I am.

    I hope your mood continues to improve and that you feel chipper soon.

    1651 days ago
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