Did you ever stop to think about how I look when you read my blog or any other...do you ever picture me as I might be writing this blog?
Believe it or not that is some of the “fun” of online friends...you get to enjoy the real meaning of friendship but your imagination is always there!!!!
And imagination lets me take on “what I am writing” because I want to be in the moment when I am writing!
In other words....
One thing that I have learned about friendship involves comparison! Often In looking back, I found that this is really a trait that was conditioned by my Dad...remember coming home with a 95% on an exam? One of the first things Dad would ask is (second to “what happened to the other 5%?”): “How did everybody else in your class do on the test?”
The thing with comparing ourselves to others is it’s something every one of us does, or at least has done in the past. And our tendency is to continue to compare ourselves with others—over and over again.
Finally, at 67 I have taken steps to recognize that I am a unique individual. So are you. We all are. The next time you find that you’re comparing yourself with someone else, remind yourself that “I am me and I’m proud of that.” You’ve got to let that sink in. You are your own person!
It takes time to “undo” a lifetime! But it can be done!
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. Steve Furtick
So how do we actually stop?
1. Appreciate what you do have.
I realized it had never crossed my mind that perhaps someone out there could be looking at me, wishing for something that I had. When you’re lost in a world of comparisons, your focus is always outward, analyzing others. You forget that you already have a million and one things to be forever grateful for.
2. It’s not a fair game.
As our man Einstein says, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
We’re all different, we see things differently, we’ve all had different experiences and come from different backgrounds. So judging ourselves to others is synonymous to judging a fish to a monkey.
3. Things aren’t always what they seem.
For some odd reason, we tend to make up our own judgments on people just on the way the look on the outside. You may look at two people working at the same firm, judge them both and wish to have their position, but what you don’t know is while one may have got the job through his father’s connections, the other had worked twenty years at the bottom of the gutter to get where he is now.
4. If you must compare, compare to you.
Some people use comparisons and convert it into motivation. And for those who can do that, go for it. It’s definitely a positive spin; perhaps seeing someone’s success drives you to do the same.
But I believe that the best person to compare yourself to is you. Compare the present you to the past you. It’s a much fairer scale and a sure way to progression and peace of mind.
5. Accept what you can’t change and change what you can’t accept.
Leading on from the last tip, change the things you want to and when you have, compare back to yourself and see how much you changed for the better. And with the things you can’t change, accept that it was how you are supposed to be—own it, live it, love it.
If you want to take one thing from this blog take my favorite: The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
And if you must...surround yourself with positive friends!