Today has been very depressing...
Monday, August 12, 2013
This morning I was awake at 9:00am as I have not been able to sleep lately (Have no idea why) and made breakfast of special K and hot tea.
Then I did the laundry of mom's clothes for the nursing home and will do the dishes later.
Very depressing day today. Mom not doing well in nursing home. Neighbor who my mother knew from nursing home passed on today. My brother not wanting me to move in with roommate because it makes him feel old and also because he is afraid to let me grow up.
He thinks that I cannot handle being with a roommate.
I have lived by myself for what has it been now....about 8 months?.
Since January, 2013.
Anyway...he also makes me a little bit mad in the fact that he thinks due to mom not eating and all that...that she may only have two years left.
We do not know that. We do not what will be around the corner. He does not know anymore than I do when mom will pass away.
Also, I found out today that our neighbor across the street who is in the same nursing home as mom and is also her neighbor who has an upstairs room...died in his sleep this morning.
I just talked to his son and the funeral is this weekend.
Anyway...all this talk of death and my brother basically telling me on the day before I sign the lease on the apartment that he DOES NOT want me moving out on my own...has me worried.
Also when I got today's mail...I get a letter from...and if this is not a cruel joke...the funeral home where my step-dad was...addressed to mom about preplanning her funeral.
Is god punishing me.