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Crying in the Old Navy dressing room

Monday, August 12, 2013

Yes I was. All out crying in the Old Navy dressing room in front of everybody. I was going to ask JeffAllen to write this for me because he's such a good writer but since I felt it I thought it would be better coming from me.

So I wrote in my blog last week that I had tried on some Levi size 12s and was very excited that they fit. I was so motivated that it's been easier to say no to snacks and stuff. Well Saturday Jeff and I had to wait for my daughter to get out of work and I was very tired but didn't want to nap. I thought maybe if I went to the mall I could get my hair done but didn't really expect it because they are always so busy. Well they were. I had mentioned to Jeff that if I couldn't get my hair done that I could go buy the jeans instead. He was a little hesitant because he really wanted his 32s but is not quite ready for them yet. He only hesitated a moment because he's such an awesome SparkBuddy and knew I deserved to get mine even if he couldn't get his. So we went and I grabbed some 12s and headed for the dressing room. I tried on 3 pair but was not comfortable with the rise in the waist. I am very high waisted and the low cuts are just not my thing. So I sadly put them back and decided I could check a couple more stores.

A little way down was Old Navy so I was excited again. Old Navy never had my old sizes so I only shopped there for my kids. I had to ask the stock girl which cut I needed (which was the sweetheart), found some 12s and headed for the dressing room with Jeff in tow.

I put the jeans on and they were fine, but the waist was a little looser than I wanted. I had the fleeting thought that maybe I could fit into a 10 but didn't really expect it. I went out and showed Jeff and he went to grab some 10s just to see. While I waited for him I explained to the girls running the dressing room that I had lost a lot of weight and really didn't know what size I was, and that I hadn't been able to shop in the store before. They were very nice and supportive. Jeff came back with the jeans and I went back to try to squeeze into them.

I started putting them on, they were snug on the way up but they didn't fight me. I got them all the way up and buttoned them just fine. Then I looked at myself. And I started to cry. I was so happy. I was so shocked. I was so PROUD! I ran out of the dressing room bawling, face red, tears running down my cheeks. I saw Jeff through the haze and grabbed him and hugged him hard. I couldn't explain why I was crying. He said "what happened" with a very worried tone thinking something terrible had happened. Then he said "they fit?" and I nodded and he laughed. He finally got to look at me and said they looked great. It took me a couple minutes of laughing and crying but I finally got it together. I turned around and looked in the dressing room and there was a whole group of people there watching me. I said "I'm sorry, I know this is very silly" and they were all saying "No, no, it's great!". One woman was sitting on a bench wiping her eyes a little and said "You're making me cry. I've been losing weight too, not as much as you, but I understand".

I have worked so hard. Sometimes it feels like I'm not making progress at all. I know I am but when that scale won't budge it gets very frustrating. I have been wearing clothes that are too big for me for a long time. I didn't know what I looked like in clothes that fit. I looked good. I looked NORMAL. Not obese, barely even overweight. There weren't globs of fat hanging over the waist band. I had a waist and hips and my thighs looked right. I had curves instead of blobs. I had no idea that this was what I looked like now.

Well I sniffled all the way through checking out. Then I went to another store and bought a shirt that fit too so I would look really good. My daughter said I looked awesome, younger, and that I might be as thin as her. Then she went and got me some jeans out of her closet to try on. A paid of capris DID fit!

Anyway, I now realize I should have taken a picture to go with this blog. I will post one as soon as I can.
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