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    BETHGILLIGAN   98,819
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints

UGH! Still here

Monday, August 12, 2013

Well, last week I was motivated to get back on track but that mojo has left already. I am not in a good spot at all--physically or emotionally. I think I'm having a bit of a crash from losing Ernie, wedding over and lake over. I am home alone this week which doesn't help my mood. However, I know I spiral into depression if I don't exercise for awhile so I imagine that's the real culprit of my mood. I've been on the binging side of eating---way too much bad stuff. It's almost I'm aiming to see how long I can avoid healthy food--and how crappy can I really make myself feel!!! I've been wallowing down here for awhile waiting for that inspiration and motivation to return. Looks like that may not be happening any time soon. So, instead of heading out for a walk with an enthusiastic smile and a spring in my step, I may be dragging my behind out the door in a very bad mood. It has to be done.
I will get better. I will get back on track. I've been here before so I know it's not forever. Maybe tomorrow???

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MEADSBAY 8/16/2013 10:23AM

    You have been on an emotional roller coaster, my friend.
Of course it will take a little while to settle down.
Recognizing that is half the battle.
It's time to focus on yourself and your health.
You can do it.
Now get outside and breathe deeply.
Don't dwell on the past month.
The Bhudda said
'Rock yourself in the cradle of lovingkindness.'

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CELIAMINER 8/13/2013 8:56AM

    I do know what it's like to decompress after a loss or an extended period of intense focus. It's good you recognize it for what it is and know it is temporary. Hope you will "dragged your butt" out the door for a walk and got captivated by sights and sounds. And I hope you went early, since the radar showed a thunderstorm just went through the Woodbridge area.
emoticon emoticon

Edit: I just read Sharon10002's blog on starting over. Perhaps it will help motivate you:

Comment edited on: 8/13/2013 8:59:15 AM

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RWETHAIRYET 8/13/2013 8:31AM

    You have been so busy, my friend, for so long. And then there's a let down. I know if I have a lot going on, pending, bearing down quickly I tend to just keep going without much thought, but the minute things slow down and I don't have to, I crash. Sometimes for a weekend, sometimes for...weeks?
But you'll find your mojo. You'll get yourself pushed out that door. And before you know it you will feel better about it...even start looking forward to it.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/12/2013 11:08PM

    Hey, we should be room mates. Or cell mates.................. padded cell mates. LOL. I'm in a similar place right now. Every night and every morning I'm determined to eat right and exercise and then by 9 A.M. I don't recall a thing about it. Pfffffffftttttt!

My days are so long now with Ian gone. Hubby leaves before 7:30 and doesn't get home until 5 at the earliest. Even the neighbors are all working right now. When he was home I would take time to fix a healthy lunch. Now I eat half cooked Ramen Noodles and potato chips. I don't even like the former really. Ian worried if I would eat right and worried I would live on radishes. It would be an improvement over what I'm eating.

Let's talk soon.

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MOM2ACAT 8/12/2013 5:53PM

    Even if you feel like you are dragging and in a bad mood, that is a great first step going out for a walk. You just might surprise yourself and feel a little better by the time you are done.

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MLDRLD 8/12/2013 11:23AM

    The hardest part is taking that first step, not matter how small. You can do it!!!

I hope you will at least go outdoors even it's just for a very short stroll.

Wishing you all the best as you try to find the motivation to begin what you know you should be doing.

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BESSHAILE 8/12/2013 11:17AM

    Besides - exercise releases endorphins - at least your body chemistry will be better.

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