Fear is a quite real emotion.
There are many forms of fear, fear at a scary movie, fear of flying, spiders, snakes, fear of the dark.
My fear has held me down for way too long.
My fear is living. I was walking and as I always do, listening to my music when the song came on that really made me think. There is always that one song that stands out at any given moment during my walks, according to what mood I am in at the time.
I have been living in a constant state of limbo for way too long.
I attributed my slow down on weight loss to my broken foot, but it all coincided with events in my personal life that occured around the first of the year.
I wont go into detail, but will just say it involved decisions I knew I needed to make and yet I kept hoping they would be ok to wait.
But I cant wait any longer.
I fear the future and I fear going on with my life and seeing whats on the other side, just as the person in the scary movie fears that noise or fears whats on the other side of the door....yet they always go check it out.
and I know I have to go check it out too.
I have to stop being afraid and I have to get back to my walkng, my nutrition plan and back to my healthy life.
And I know the life I have been living the last 7 months, under this constant state of fear of the unknown has to end.
I may regret my decisions but I know I have to make them once and for all.
This week I have to get my head out of the clouds and back to the walking track and back to my health.
The song lyrics, " I never feared death or dying, I only feared never trying, I am whatever I am now, only God can judge me".
Well, I havent been trying and I have feared living.
Whatever the future holds for me, I have to make sure I am healthy enough to live and handle the hard times and enjoy the good times.
I have been at a stand still on moving ahead with my life and losing weight too and its time to turn this thing around!!!
Because as the song says, "we only get one shot, everything rides on this night, even if ive got three strikes, imma go for it, this moment, i own it"