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Day 2, Part 2

Friday, August 09, 2013

Woohoo! I am almost done with my kitchen. (and have started on the living room) All I have left in my beautiful kitchen is to sweep and scrub the floors and empty the dishwasher.

I know this may sound rather odd, being so excited over something like a clean kitchen, but I will confess something with you of which I am so not proud (understatement)...Since my illness and recovery, I just have not had the energy(only partly true) or the inclination to get my apartment in order. Being single I often tell myself, "I'm the only one here and I never have company so who cares?" Well the truth of the matter is that I have always cared. But the apathy which I have tried to fight for the last three years is so strong. SO needless to say, Things have gotten WAY out of hand.

I have been messy my whole life. I was Oscar to my mama's Felix. She ever despaired over her first child. Now, I said I was messy, but I have never been dirty, until getting sick. Deep down I have despaired of ever having a comforting, beautiful sanctuary. There were several months as I healed and worked at getting my life back to relative normal, that I had no energy, the cancer and the chemo wiped me out. But darn it, it's been three years and there is NO excuse anymore!

I have this vision of my apartment the way I want. I want to be able every week to do a minimal amount of cleaning and straightening up, so I won't feel guilty...or not have the room do what I really want to do. To sit down on my couch on a beautiful spring weekend with my windows open and enjoy a good book with out thinking twice about it, or sew a new outfit or craft, immerse myself in spiritual pursuits and meditate.

I have no ideas what has suddenly caused me to WAKE UP, but I am so grateful I have! I am channeling my mama and FlyLady and in doing so, I'm getting so much done. I can almost hear my mama giggling and feel her hugging me as I finally get my self back to normal

Not only do i have energy and the excitement of physically getting my outer sanctuary back to where I know I should be, I am seeing changes in my emotional and inner spiritual sanctuary as well.

The biggest reason for all this wonderful TV. I may check to see if there is anything I want to see tonight or not...if I look and there is stays off. I do believe this is going to be a life changing decision for me. It has been in my mind as I have pondered so many things, that it is time for me to find a volunteer job. There is a hospital with in walking distance of my apartment and I feel the tug to go and look into it.

Despite how hard I am working, I am so relaxed and happy! With all the cleaning and intermittent dancing, I'm getting my exercise as well. Pretty darn Cool! Anywho...time to go back and finish my kitchen and continue on my living room.

Later gator!
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