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    FUNKIBREWSTR   2,830
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My name is Lyndsay and I "Self-Sabotage"..

Thursday, August 08, 2013

So am I the only person who has to actually sit myself down and ask myself if I actually want something? I know that I want to lose weight, and I know what it takes to make it happen, but at the same time I just want it to come easy. I know that it will probably never be anything that comes easy and of course you have to work for it, but sometimes I actually have to ask myself if I really want it. My doctor wants me to start looking into bariatric surgery and Iím really not looking forward to that. At some point I was really interested in going for it, and I was ready to go through with it and too willing to deal with what might happen. Then I got scared, and Iíve been scared ever since. Iím worried about what might happen if something goes wrong. I told myself that I would like to do this the right way; eating healthy and exercising, but I find myself not really doing anything about my weight. I am definitely not comfortable with where I am right now, but at the same time I am not making anything happen. Iím at the point where I think I should see a therapist about this, Iím not happy with myself. I torture myself by looking at other people who have made their dreams a reality and asking if that will ever be me.. I really just want to find a way to discipline myself and stay no track. With or without results, but my problem is that when I do see results I sabotage myself. Do you know anyone who is afraid of what greatness they can achieve? I think thatís me.. I have a fear of succeeding. Why? I donít really know why..

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AUTUMNHOPE 8/9/2013 8:32AM

    Lyndsay (what a beautiful name, it suits you ),

I am SO glad you blogged ! I agree with Penny. No matter what your choice, ignore it, surgery, small steps you have to face the choices & make effort with any of them.

You are SO young & I feel you could take this off without something as drastic as surgery that may have a lot of side effects & it won't change your mindset, but I don't know the answer.
I do know I'm 41, gone up & down the scale all my life & I just now am learning on this web site, not the eating part, I knew that, but the mindset.

There's a mantra on here that I use
If you're tired of starting over, then STOP giving up !
we are what we tell ourselves, if you keep repeating negative thoughts , i can't , I'm afraid because, what if , then you are sure to fail.
Put I will's on the beginning of your sentences, I WILL start to eat smaller portions. i WILL move for at LEAST 10 min. a day, etc.I AM worth the effort ! I WILL become stronger so this WILL get easier.

This is just an opinion, but I don't think you should opt for something as drastic as surgery at your age until you REALLY give it 100% consistently & see what happens.
A time frame, 3 months for example, #1 is NOT TO QUIT ! No matter what mistake you make on one day get back on track the next. If you put in three good days & have one mess up it won't negate all three & you'll be learning how not to do it next time.

I think I told you this, but for MONTHS I just lost & gained, because I kept bingeing. I felt there was no hope, but I could feel the desire to change & I knew I couldn't continue as I have & I had learned some good habits & had made some good choices , so I continued . I did NOT give up !
Then I finally let myself feel uncomfortable . Go to the Living Binge Free 21 day challenge & read my 8-7 post. All these are , are cravings that makes us feel uncomfortable & we can ride them out & within 15min or so they pass if we distract ourselves. For the first time Lyndsay, I am really seeing a change in my body. My workouts are making a difference because I'm not bingeing. I make sure I'm eating things that satisfy me, not just carrots & the scale IS dropping & I AM doing it .I had a small ice cream cone.Logged it in my cals & enjoyed it without regret. I felt it impossible for me to do it consistently. You are stronger than you think ! Push yourself out of that comfort zone a little. You won't die ! Your body will reward you & so will your self esteem.
Let me know what you decide. I will pray for you. emoticon

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PENNYPEARLS 8/8/2013 10:25PM

    You are worth it! You can succeed. There is nothing magic to make it happen, even the surgery. If you have the surgery you will still have to make healthy lifestyle changes to achieve the desired result. You are the one who has the power to make this happen. emoticon

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