Thursday, August 08, 2013
So am I the only person who has to actually sit myself down and ask myself if I actually want something? I know that I want to lose weight, and I know what it takes to make it happen, but at the same time I just want it to come easy. I know that it will probably never be anything that comes easy and of course you have to work for it, but sometimes I actually have to ask myself if I really want it. My doctor wants me to start looking into bariatric surgery and Iím really not looking forward to that. At some point I was really interested in going for it, and I was ready to go through with it and too willing to deal with what might happen. Then I got scared, and Iíve been scared ever since. Iím worried about what might happen if something goes wrong. I told myself that I would like to do this the right way; eating healthy and exercising, but I find myself not really doing anything about my weight. I am definitely not comfortable with where I am right now, but at the same time I am not making anything happen. Iím at the point where I think I should see a therapist about this, Iím not happy with myself. I torture myself by looking at other people who have made their dreams a reality and asking if that will ever be me.. I really just want to find a way to discipline myself and stay no track. With or without results, but my problem is that when I do see results I sabotage myself. Do you know anyone who is afraid of what greatness they can achieve? I think thatís me.. I have a fear of succeeding. Why? I donít really know why..