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soggy skin

Thursday, August 08, 2013

While in the midst of a perfect plank, with my hot pink running shorts on and as my purple t-shirt slowly crept up my belly, I noticed something in the gym mirror. My skin looked soggy. Cornflakes in day old milk kind of soggy. It's not like I didn't know that i had some loose skin; I know. However I typicall only worry myself with my bat wings and lady lumps in my inner thighs. My tummy is a lost cause so I barely pay that any attention but in that plank, in that moment, I noticed the looseness pull away from my spine and hang in my abdomen. I observe the way the skin on my neck pulls towards the floor-my former double chin. I begin to quiver as my pose threatens to break and my quads, which appear so solid, quivers a little longer than I like.

As I come out of my plank, I try to shake my thoughts and begin to do jumping jacks. Bad idea. I managed 10 before I quit, not out of exasperation, but because it looked like my body was being manipulated by a wind machine. Why is my skin suddenly so noticeably gelatineous? How do I improve my skin condition?

In other news, I am 29 days away from my wedding. As it nears, I struggle daily. Not an emotional struggle but the stress has me yo-yoing between horrible food choices and healthy habits. I go to the gym and kill it one day just to be too busy the next two days with work and wedding planning. I do not want to look bak at my wedding pictures and regret the decisions I made. On the flipside, I am super proud that I am who I am TODAY and not who I was 15 months ago. That is a blessing.

I usually do my best when I have a goal or deadline in sight and suprisingly, my wedding isn't motivating me anymore. My fittings are done and I really need to maintain that stature in order for my gown to fit. Plus, I know my fiance absolutely loves my body now (he loved me and my body before too but this new body allows for a lot more creativity

emoticon ) and on most days, I am satisfied with the way I look. On others, like three days ago, I nearly break out in tears out of fear of going back to where I was. Well Derrell and i intend to go to Chicago in March for a Bulls/Celtics game. The last time we were there was during my last weight loss attempt. While I was healthy, I was about 15 lbs heavier than I am now and I was disappointed that I couldn't buy much on Michigan Avenue. This time around, I want to be able to shop in stores that sell more than accessories. I am not going to give myself a weight loss goal, but I would love to be one full size down, in a Misses 14 by that date. A size 12 would be ideal because a lot of the stores only go to a Large but I want to be realistic. Realistically, however, without the wedding looming over my head, I may be able to concentrate more on my health and weight loss.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keep up the good work you re doing great!!!
    1660 days ago
    you know what's not under that "soggy skin"? Fat, that's right. Your skin will tighen up some over time.
    1672 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1672 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Good luck with your concentration.
    1679 days ago
    Try not to beat yourself up too much I know weddings are very stressful!!! Congrats on tho! I know you will look and be beautiful! :)
    1681 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1681 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon I know you will meet any goal you set!!! emoticon
    1682 days ago
    Nikkicole you took me back almost 45 yrs talking about how loose your skin is. I had a supervisor, Lucy, she said when she went to bed at night she had to sleep on her stomach because if she slept on her back her boobs would fall on either side of her or if she slept on her side they would hang down. I asked her why it bothered her so much. She said her husband would realize she was no longer perfect. HMMMmmmmm! Anyway thank you!
    1682 days ago
    I thin plank is the worst position for me to be in sometimes. My belly is fine most of the time, but in plank its like all of the lose skin on my body is being pulled down by 4x's the gravity and just hangs down off my body. At those moments I just have to remember that its better to have "soggy" skin that to be as big as I used to.

    Last week I put on a pair of old size 18/20 shorts... over my shorts, and was amazed at the difference. Its no wonder my skin hasn't caught up to us yet -- we're just too awesome.

    Also -- yay wedding! I'm an internet stranger but I'm getting super excited for you!
    1682 days ago
    You are beautiful, inside and out. Your "soggy" skin is a badge of honor. It will shrink up as you continue to lose, and you will GLOW on your wedding day. I was 275 lbs when I got married, but I was still beautiful, BECAUSE it was my wedding day! It's now 5 years later and I look so much better, but I don't regret my photos, because I remember how happy I was that day. emoticon
    1683 days ago
    I unfortunately know EXACTLY what you are talking about with the "soggy skin". The area where my triceps are SUPPOSED to be is... well... wow. It sounds ridiculous, but just know that if you keep toning and drinking your water, things will eventually tighten up. It's not a quick process, but it WILL happen.

    Less than a month away from your big day! WOOOHOOOOOO!

    I'm sure you can get down at least one more dress size by March. Just keep pushing.
    1683 days ago
    You must flip the switch of your brain; this little voice that tells you about the "soggy skin" must focus on all the other parts that are awesome! I try to brainwash myself and look at the bright side of things, it keeps me happy and positive.

    Keep it up, you are just a second away from one of the most beautiful days of your life!

    1683 days ago
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