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When things are beyond your control... (Support needed!)

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Yesterday I wrote about the power of gratitude, and today I'm being tested. As many of you know since I've wrote about it quite a few times here, I've been struggling to stay positive this summer. Some (very personal) things have happened in my life that have made me feel very powerless, sad and even heartbroken. A part of me wishes I could open up here and tell you everything, but I'm choosing not to out of respect to the person involved in all of this.

For me, one of the most difficult things in life is to accept that there are certain things that are beyond my control. I'm a control freak, I acknowledge that, and it's such a frightening thing to have to let go and accept that there is nothing you can do to fix things. Ultimately, it's a choice only the person involved can make. I'm having a hard time trusting that things are going to be okay without me constantly worrying about them. Loss of control can be scary. And for me, it definitely is.

This all sounds so mysterious and I'm sorry about being so vague about what's going on. I'll try and get to the point. What I'm realizing now is that the only thing I actually can control is MYSELF. I can't control the people around me and the choices they make (and it's driving me crazy sometimes because there is nothing I would like more) but I can, instead, control my own emotions and actions even in the toughest of situations. I can focus on myself, on my health (both mental and physical) and on my goals and dreams. I can channel my energy into thinking about what I want and what I'm going to do with my own life instead of obsessing about the decisions of someone else. It's useless to waste energy on worrying all day long about things you cannot change. There comes a point when you just have to LET GO. I used to deal with situations like this by turning to food, but now I choose to face my fears head on even when it's scary and focus on my own well being for once. It's extremely difficult but I'm going to try my very hardest.

I need your support, my friends. This is a tough time for me and I'm doing my best to keep my head above water, even when the waves are trying to crush me.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LADYJAY714 8/22/2013 3:02PM

    emoticon emoticon Hang in there beautiful! I'm a control freak also and will agree it's tough to try to let go and the only thing you can do is TRY then try HARDER! I'm rooting for U!

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SADWHITEWOLF 8/19/2013 10:14AM

    Hope things go better for you!

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GREGGWEISBROD 8/13/2013 1:59PM

    Yeah, I mean you have to carry your own bags first, and let others figure out how to carry their own. You can give them hints and pointers, but at the end of the day, they have to carry their own bags. Sound like you have the right perspective, but I understand, that doesn't make seeing others struggle with their bags any easier. You know what it means though? It means you're a person of love, deep love, and you want to bring healing to others. Even if you can't help everyone, you're still an exceptionally special girl for having that kind of heart.

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FUNLOVEN 8/9/2013 10:33AM

    I know what you're talking about ! I wouldn't call myself a control freak though. I prefer to think of myself as a "fixer" and maybe that is what you are too. I am a planner ( because no one else wants to be ) and I want everyone to be happy and have fun in life. So what this turns into sometimes is setting things up in other peoples lives and then getting disappointed or feeling frustrated or upset in some way when they don't follow what I set up. Another example is when people come to me and tell me all of their troubles. So I like to try and make it all better for them which frequently doesn't work.

I can't tell you how many times my family has told me exactly what your blogged about - YOU CAN ONLY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF! It is a hard habit to break. emoticon

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IUHRYTR 8/8/2013 11:55PM

    You have such a positive attitude. Never give up. -- Lou

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JACKIE542 8/8/2013 8:46PM

    This is all so true, I spent many times in my life worrying about things I had no control over. Love the quote the storm will pass, because it will. with or without you. We do the best we can that is all you can do.
I hope everything works out well! emoticon

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OMMAMA7 8/8/2013 8:05PM

    I think that you are doing amazing! It's not easy, and we will always have struggles and challenges, but the fact that you are taking the time and putting in the effort to analyze your feelings, thoughts, etc. It is great! Some people never get to that point in their whole lives. I hope you take some comfort in that - the way you are processing is fantastic. No matter how we deal with things or if we are the most evolved person in the world, there will still be things that frustrate and hurt you. Feeling that doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong - it just means you are human. emoticon emoticon

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MERRY_XMAS 8/8/2013 5:54PM

    I came to understand that the only thing that is certain is ourselves. That's the reason why we should treat our body, our soul and our mind in the best way we can.

I hope the person who is involved in this difficult situation will listen to your advice and everything will be better soon!


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TAYSMOM77642 8/8/2013 5:32PM

    I can relate to where you are coming from. I too would rather be in control of things because then I know that things will work out in a way that makes me feel comfortable. Stay strong, focus on YOU, make healthy choices and the storm will eventually pass. emoticon

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KRISZTA11 8/8/2013 4:55PM

    You are already doing very well for yourself, I wish I was so wise myself at your age.
I used to be a control freak for most of my life, so I can imagine what you are going through.
Recently I have read an amazing book, Awakening Joy - of you like self-help books, you might be interested in this, available in e-book as well. Very good advice to lead a happier life no matter what, and specifically about letting go.
I hope you will feel better and find peace soon.

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    Letting go is one of the hardest and scariest things I can think of. Then having to watch things falling apart all around you while trying to stay afloat is no fun either.
When things get tough I exercise - hard (say steep, fast, and crazy 8-hour hikes).
Hang in there! Though it may seem like it right now, nothing lasts forever.

Comment edited on: 8/8/2013 4:34:41 PM

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