Thursday, August 08, 2013
I am coming to you all asking for some help. I am starting over new as of today. I need to be open and honest. I haven't even been this way with myself. I have gained 20 pounds since April when I started my new job. I am now working for Dish Network and sitting 5 days a week. With no additional exercise. In addition to sitting and not exercising I am grazing all day long. Most of which I bring with me. I don't always bring the best things for me. I usually bring at least 2 pickling cucumbers (out of my garden, medium size). I donít put anything on them. I am telling myself this is healthy for me. Its not just the cucumbers I am bringing other snacks and eating constantly. I ignore the fact that I am feeling full. I need help. I was going to the vending machine on every break. I have stopped doing that, but it isn't making any difference with the other things I am doing.
I was told recently by my doctor that if I don't lose a considerable amount of weight by my next appoint that he is going to be putting me on medication. I am not sure how I feel about this. I have additionally learned that my thyroid levels have gone crazy. I have an appointment scheduled in Nov to see a specialist. I don't know what is going to become of this. I am hopeful, yet I don't know what to expect.
I have no energy to move. I want to get back to the old me. I was so much better before when I was exercising and doing what I needed to do before. I need to get back to this and keeping at it. I do so well for so long, and then I have a complete turn around. Its almost like a self sabotage. I don't know why I do this. I would like to get to the bottom of why this is happening. I know this journey is not just a new way of eating and exercising but an emotional change in my life too. I need to find a balance. Please pray for me that I am able to do this. I am a new grandma and I need to be healthy for my granddaughter. I want to be a healthy wife for my husband.
Thank you all for reading this and praying for me.