Wednesday, August 07, 2013
I sit here every day and wonder what it would be like to be a runner. I sit here and listen to people talk about running and am envious. They make it sound easy.
I hate that I have gained weight this year. I hate that I can feel the extra 40 lbs when I move. I hate that I let it get this way.
I hate that despite this dialogue running through my head each and every day, hour, minute I went and bought two cupcakes and lunch today.
I have a few hours without kids today. I sat on the couch and watched tv.
I have an hour more without kids today so I got off my butt. I went for a run. I did. I didn't make it to the end of the road. I didn't make it to the caution sign. I did make it farther than I thought I would. In my head it's easy. In my body it's not. I'm great at Wii running. It will take time and effort to be good at real running. But I can't keep feeling like I'm the victim. I am the one who got me this way, I am the only one who can get me back the way I once was.