And the August Allergy Free Eating Challenge ( wp.me/p1N36Q-fh
) has come to a close after two short days.
Ah, social events. Apparently, in order to achieve binge and wheat freedom, I can’t participate in them. I was visiting the in-laws this weekend to celebrate my brother-in-law’s recent graduation from his master’s program. They threw quite the party for him and his fellow classmates, complete with a mock ceremony, homemade photo booth, and, of course, tons of food.
Prior to Saturday’s party, I was getting August off to an auspicious start. On Friday, my husband was hosting some racquetball friends at our house for a guys’ night barbecue – his answer to my upcoming Dove Chocolate Party. (More on that another time.) He handled the grocery shopping for his own party with the understanding that everything that was leftover from it would then be coming with us to his parents’ house the next day. And during his party, I holed up in my home office to get some work done and eat my turkey cheese roll-ups and salad.
And he kept his word, bless him. Saturday morning, after a quick workout, we loaded up our car with hamburger buns, hotdog rolls, marshmallows, graham crackers, chocolate, potato chips, and Doritos, and made the trek to Northeast PA.
When we arrived, I walked past plate after plate of brownies, cookies, and chocolate cake. I could only assume that none of these were made with almond flour, and began wishing I could go back in time and bring my own Nicole-friendly dessert.
Still, I managed to last a solid hour nibbling on various veggies and cheeses that had been put out as well. But you better believe I was obsessing over those baked goods pretty hard core.
I don’t know at what point I decided it would be ok to have one. And one “what,” I don’t remember, but I’m going to guess it was a cookie. I must have blacked out after that. I think I truly behave like an addict. The worst part was waking up the next morning and – much to my dismay – finding that the cookies and brownies hadn’t been put away yet. So I figured why not have a brownie or two for breakfast?
I should have known better. I set my own self up for failure on this one. What was I thinking publicly declaring my ability to stay wheat free/sugar free/corn free/soy free/etc. for 20 days – knowing I’d have to get through my husband’s party on Friday, my brother-in-law’s party on Saturday, my Dove Chocolate Party next Friday, and another barbecue next Sunday?
I honestly think that – in order for me to become a normal human being with a normal relationship around food – I’m going to have to be a hermit for one solid month. After next week, I may just be able to accomplish this – my husband’s job gets insanely busy this time of year, forcing him to put in some weekend hours, so it’s not totally unrealistic that I won’t have anywhere else to be. And if there’s going to be a time to break free of binging, it’s going to need to happen now instead of the eating-spree that usually accompanies the October/November/December holiday season.