Monday, August 05, 2013
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." ― Steve Maraboli
Say what now? LOL!
My funk aka depression continues. I fight it every day but chose to live in the darkness of it over the weekend. The only real outing I had on the calendar was lunch with a girlfriend wherein I was going to discuss some of the things going on. She had to cancel lunch at the last minute ... I sunk lower into the darkness. It's not often I find the courage to show my vulnerability to others ...
Instead of hiding at home the whole weekend, I did force myself to go outside in the sun and actually ran an errand. I interrupted my pattern and did something different. I am better for it.
Today I made the decision to checkout a gym around the corner from my office. The front desk guy was personable and gave me an excellent tour. They have a ST circuit that can be completed in 30 minutes AND all the organized classes are 30-minutes and are generally limited to 5 to 6 people. There seems to be enough equipment for the masses so no waiting in line. (I went at a peak hour) I felt all tingly and wonderful walking back to the office. This could be *my* new place.
I LOVE to workout! I MISS working out! I NEED to workout! My gym isn't cutting it anymore. I need to say good-bye and find a new experience. So much sot that I sent management an email today about cancelling my 12+ year membership and await a response.
After all that crazy goodness I opened up to a friend of mine about some of the issues that I'm having. I've resolved nothing but it feels good to just reach out and be heard. He offers an ear to listen without judgment and/or trying to find the answers for me. Sometimes people forget to just sit quietly and listen.
I'm still in the mental darkness and I'm still in my plateau. I can't help but think they are connected in some brutal, unhealthy way.
Still in search for my Giggle!