Monday, August 05, 2013
So this week's weigh-in was kinda a bummer. Instead of going down, I went up to about 163. I've been hovering around that number for the past few days (I'm sure my mini-vacation didn't help). It doesn't help that it seems like I'm constantly hungry, no matter how regularly I eat, how much water I drink, etc.
There is a part of me that is freaking out. "Oh no!" she screams. "I'm falling off the wagon! I'm going to regain all that weight! I can't go back to that woman - I don't like myself then! And I'll be letting everyone else down too!"
But I am making a conscious decision not to freak out anymore. Sure, I'm not happy about gaining weight, about not being as good as I have been. But I am human. And I make mistakes.
Now is the time where I can run back over the past few days to see where I've gone wrong. Perhaps that salad was a bit oversized. Oh, I don't think I got my full 64oz of water. I did exercise quite a bit - no wonder my body felt so hungry. And I kinda messed up my nighttime routine.
Old Me would have said, "I blew it - oh, well, might as well just throw the whole thing out the window!"
Because somehow it makes sense to forget ONE HUNDRED POUNDS LOST just because I had an extra meal when I felt really hungry?
Because it makes sense to forget I went from a snug size 20 to a size 10 just because I wasn't as good about portioning my meals?
Because I have more energy and work out regularly (usually 3 times a week, minimally) that is why I should just eat everything in sight?
Absolutely NOT! I have come a LONG WAY. And while I may have not been faithful and gained a bit of weight, the fact is, I have still LOST 100+ pounds! That is not an easy feat!
So instead of whining about the few pounds I gained and how horrible that is, I am going to keep my focus on my accomplishment. I am going to hold tight to that knowledge of how I lost 100+ pounds and get back on track. I'm going to be better about portions, water, exercise, etc. I'm not throwing in the towel. I'm not going to eat every food I was ever tempted by. If anything, this journey has taught me I am much stronger than I gave myself credit - and I am not going to fail just because I slipped down one step on my staircase to good health!