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Think I've found the heart of it all.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

You know I keep wondering why I've always felt soo restless. And I have one million reasons for joining the navy, but I think I've uncovered the heart of it all. I'm sitting here at a party where ppl are drinking and doing drugs and im miserable. I'm underneath an amazing sky full of beautiful stars and all I want to do is cry. Why? Because I want to finally be somewhere where I fit in. And this isn't it. I want people that think like I do and challenge me to dig deeper. As much as I want to fit in here, this isn't me by any means. I need peace. I need people with hopes and dreams not that people don't have these but i need to challenge my mind. I need to keep feeding it.

I don't need to feel miserable to "have a good time" and I'm starting to realize that I can't do this anymore. I am who I am and I won't change it anymore to fit the picture that other people have.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    How wonderful for you to be able to step outside your life and look in. I think you are right to follow your instincts without always understanding them. Sometimes we can't put into words or even cohesive thoughts what is happening inside of us but our instinct knows.
    1662 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/7/2013 4:04:45 PM
    Been where you are. Sounds like you're getting ready to take the high road to a better path in life. I know I had to leave behind alot of people I loved... people I lived with... but one day I came to the realization I was growing up.. and they weren't.. and they were in there 30s and 40s and I was in my 20s. It just wasn't my scene anymore. May you find the peace and stability and success you are looking for. emoticon
    1665 days ago
    You are definitely on the right path. Best Wishes and please keep sparking!

    1666 days ago
    This is an important realization for you; one that will change the course of your life, no doubt. Wishing you the best.
    1666 days ago
    You know, life is so much about growing, maturing, changing and that's what you're going thru now. It's not easy BUT you've taken the time to really think it thru. Good for you.

    My son is in the Army. He was restless, just like you (he's going to be 21 next Saturday). Anyhow, he found his "niche" in the Army. Hope you find it in he Navy.
    1666 days ago
    It is hard to come to the realization where you have to admit that to yourself. It is not easy for people to say that they deserve more than what they currently have. You deserve more than what you have. You deserve to surround yourself with people who not only challenge you but who help you to flourish and help you find your ultimate self. There are sites that you can get up for meeting up with people and finding people with common interests. Perhaps you could check into something like that? It is good to broaden your horizons. :) I wish you the best of luck in making yourself happy! :) emoticon
    1666 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    Hang in there!
    1666 days ago
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