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Advice Column

Saturday, August 03, 2013

I hate it when people ask me for advice...and then ignore the heck out of it. I especially like it when they expect me to be all sorts of understanding about their choices, when I can see the huge train wreck that they have set up for themselves. Then when I tell them I'm not happy about their choice...they get hurt and want me to say sorry.

I especially like it when it's my husband who does this.

Why ask for advice at all?

Why not just do what you were going to do?

I always swear I will never give anyone advice ever again, and then someone asks me for advice...and they never take it...and it ALWAYS turns out badly for them.

Just wait. I'll have a hilarious story for you in a couple of days of how my husband caused himself all manner of troubles by not taking my advice.

I'll take pictures if it turns out to be a total disaster.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wellllll that's a hilarious story. But also kinda bittersweeet, brings up all kinds of sad memories of my husband's mother (I think she was the twin sister to your MIL, the one that neither of them knew they had....?).... Guess you can borrow your knee markers and write "I told you so" on his leg or belly the next time he does actually do some doofus project that backfires? Or not. Sometimes it's just kinder to zip the lips and not say anything, because he likely feels bad enough as it is...
    1651 days ago
    I understand where you are coming from and I do hope that he doesn't hurt himself trying to help his mother who sounds very capable of getting it done without his help. It's so hard when it's your family, though and he is lucky to have a loving wife who can guide him.
    1686 days ago
    Well, here's the story...

    My husband had agreed to (against my advice), on his own, drive two hours to a furniture store to pick up a couch for his overbearing mother. He feels guilty if he refuses or simply declines to do things for her. So, he was going to drive a store two hours away, because she refused to look on the internet to find a closer store and she didn't want to pay for delivery.

    THEN after delivering that to her, his mother wanted him to drive two hours in the opposite direction, to take her old couch to his sister (because she wanted it), but the sister has both a husband and a truck. So, I was never quite sure why she didn't come and pick up the old couch for herself.

    He was going to do all this, even though he's been having back and shoulder troubles. I was livid. I expected him to end up in a cast, quite frankly. My plan was to write "I told you so" on that cast, and then take a picture for you.

    Thankfully, after carefully considering how stupid his choice was, he decided to tell his mother that he'd have to do it later in the week. He says his plan is to kick this down the road far enough, that his mother will simply get tired of waiting and pay for delivery, or get his sister's husband to do it.

    So, he has been absolved of the crime of not listening to my advice.
    1686 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    can't wait for the story
    1686 days ago
    Good blog on advice. I never , well almost never , give advice as I'm lousy at it. People do come for DH for advice and he will counsel several times. Then if they return without heeding, he says he has no time to listen if they haven't listened.
    1687 days ago
    "Never ask me a question you want me to lie to you about."

    Ha! I regularly say, "Are you SURE you want me to answer that question?"

    I have to say "I told you so," so often, that I've thought about having it tattooed to my forehead!

    1687 days ago
    I warn people! Don't ask for my advice unless you want it! Don't ask me a question you might not like the answer to! I learned a long time ago not to ask questions I wasn't prepared to HEAR another person's thoughts, opinions or feelings on. Never ask me a question you want me to lie to you about. I won't, can't & don't lie! If you ask, be prepared for what MY truth is & KNOW that you are going to get it!

    I can't wait to see pictures. Men are silly little boys sometimes! Getting to say 'I told you so' seems so right & mean, but I'll never hesitate to use those 4 little words! emoticon
    1687 days ago
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