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    NANA-JEAN   158,017
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints

chose to have a better day yesterday

Friday, August 02, 2013

I think my sil sent this to me, I am thankful my faith is not wavering! God is so faithful and good!

I chose to not let my grief overcome me yesterday. I went and picked up my granddaughter, Ana and we baked all day and crocheted a bit. I caught myself twice saying, "I will take some of these to great-papa".. then I remembered. I needed the day with unconditional love and activity. I took it!

I have lost track of my days on my journey and have not exercised in over a week... my goal is get back on track asap. I used to get up and start my day with spark, email and checking my to do list for dad every morning - now I am creating a new routine - I MISS checking and doing things for dad. I need to fill this gap - now and get into a new routine - nothing will ever replace dad, but I must replace the routine of "doing".

My mom stopped doing things for dad about 4 years ago, yes, she still cooked and did his laundry, but other than that - she did not want to do more and chose to not do more. I was his main caretaker, my sister did his finances and my brother would visit often and do what he could. I helped my mom too. She had her knee replacement surgery - I became her main caretaker during her 2 month recovery. Being a full time student this was a challenge but I did it. At any rate - mom was here two nights ago and gave me all kinds of grief about my dad having legal documents changed to fullfill what he wanted when he passed, I kept my promise and fullfilled his wishes. Mom pushed, I pushed back! (not physically - but emotionally) I said some things I have never said to my mother, God forgive me. I do not ever disrespect my mother - ever, no matter how I feel about things she said or did to my father - that was their marriage and their business. Heck I never disrespected her when she would say the worst things to me; not that I was a doormat, but I just let her know she cannot talk to me that way and I would leave. Sometimes, we would have cross-words, but never have I ever spoken to my mother as I did the other night.

What is done is done. I chose to take the day yesterday and I did.
Today I have to go work on dad's room. It has been a process the last three months with him in the nursing home, but there are still some things to do. It will hard but I will try to stay strong.

On a positive note: my neice came in from England yesterday and is staying with my brother in my backyard in his camper. She is here for two weeks.

Have a blessed day!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WENDYJM4 8/3/2013 6:15AM


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    Having little ones in our life can make a huge difference in giving us the motivation to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

For me, it was my granddaughter. She was just four when my son, her beloved Uncle Scott was killed. Knowing she was coming over every afternoon was sometimes the only reason I'd get out of bed...


God Bless, Elizabeth emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/3/2013 4:21:57 AM

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RAINBOWMF 8/2/2013 8:58PM


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STRINGI719 8/2/2013 5:11PM

    You are doing AWESOME! Just stay in the center of God's will and you can't go wrong!

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SONICB 8/2/2013 2:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TURTLETALK 8/2/2013 11:01AM


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ANHELIC 8/2/2013 9:54AM

    Praying for you, Jean. You are an awesome daughter. emoticon emoticon

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VONBLACKBIRD 8/2/2013 9:06AM

    Prayers are coming your way. emoticon

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KEEP_GOING247 8/2/2013 8:20AM

    Hi Jean, you are a wonderful daughter and may God bless you for honoring your mother and father as He commanded. I always waking up thanking Him for a new day of His mercies and grace. We can leave the past in the past and move forward. Have a wonderful and restful weekend. God bless. emoticon

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