Thursday, August 01, 2013
Um. Holy cow. The temptations I had today are not for the faint of heart. HOLY. COW.
We had a thing at work today for the entire clinic and they supplied lunch. I didn't think about not having time to go out to grab a salad at the local Lamb's, so my heart just sank when I asked what was for lunch: pizza. Gourmet pizza. Like, the artichoke, spinach, white sauce type of gourmet. It is seriously some of the BEST pizza. U....G....H....Then, they also brought Subway. That wasn't as big of a deal since I could take S or leave it. But, there were chips and cookies. OMG. It was really, really, really hard. I kept telling myself to be strong and then that voice would creep in: you've been good, what's one slice of pizza? But I didn't do it. I had a bag of Morningstar farms sausage patties in the fridge and another half of a serving of the breakfast casserole I brought that day. So I had those before lunch. I can't even begin to describe watching 20+ people loading their plates, taking bites of that amazing, steaming pizza, eating cookies and chips...YUM. It was HARD.
But I did it, and I'm alive. I got a horrible headache, I think from having the cravings. I know that sounds nuts, but I was fine until they brought lunch and my stomach started churning and it just looked so freaking good!
Work was ok. Steady. I left as soon as I was done and headed home to finish cleaning the house and get ready for some Project Runway. I guess the only bad choice I made today was to not go to the gym because of my headache and honestly, my back still hurts a little bit.
I have another problem that I better 'fess up about: I've been smoking. OMG, I know. ICK. I smoked for a while way back when, and my husband still smokes. He'd gotten to a point where he was only having 1 or 2 a day, although has never actually been able to smoke. I don't know what got in to me. I had a second miscarriage in February and immediately started up smoking. I'm at the point where I don't even WANT to smoke...it's just becoming habit again: with my morning coffee, with my evening coffee, on the way to work, on the way from work. It's getting to the point where it's grossing me out: the smell is horrendous. But I'm still doing it. Nobody knows except my husband. My family and friends and workplace don't know. So there, I told you all. What's worse is we're trying to have a baby! I could be pregnant RIGHT NOW, for all I know :( I need to stop. So I'm adding "quit smoking" to my goals. What I hate is that I even have to say that. I hadn't had a cigarette in YEARS. Crap.
Here, I took pictures: