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OMG, I pretty much deserve and award today.

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Um. Holy cow. The temptations I had today are not for the faint of heart. HOLY. COW.

We had a thing at work today for the entire clinic and they supplied lunch. I didn't think about not having time to go out to grab a salad at the local Lamb's, so my heart just sank when I asked what was for lunch: pizza. Gourmet pizza. Like, the artichoke, spinach, white sauce type of gourmet. It is seriously some of the BEST pizza. U....G....H....Then, they also brought Subway. That wasn't as big of a deal since I could take S or leave it. But, there were chips and cookies. OMG. It was really, really, really hard. I kept telling myself to be strong and then that voice would creep in: you've been good, what's one slice of pizza? But I didn't do it. I had a bag of Morningstar farms sausage patties in the fridge and another half of a serving of the breakfast casserole I brought that day. So I had those before lunch. I can't even begin to describe watching 20+ people loading their plates, taking bites of that amazing, steaming pizza, eating cookies and chips...YUM. It was HARD.


But I did it, and I'm alive. I got a horrible headache, I think from having the cravings. I know that sounds nuts, but I was fine until they brought lunch and my stomach started churning and it just looked so freaking good!

Work was ok. Steady. I left as soon as I was done and headed home to finish cleaning the house and get ready for some Project Runway. I guess the only bad choice I made today was to not go to the gym because of my headache and honestly, my back still hurts a little bit.

I have another problem that I better 'fess up about: I've been smoking. OMG, I know. ICK. I smoked for a while way back when, and my husband still smokes. He'd gotten to a point where he was only having 1 or 2 a day, although has never actually been able to smoke. I don't know what got in to me. I had a second miscarriage in February and immediately started up smoking. I'm at the point where I don't even WANT to's just becoming habit again: with my morning coffee, with my evening coffee, on the way to work, on the way from work. It's getting to the point where it's grossing me out: the smell is horrendous. But I'm still doing it. Nobody knows except my husband. My family and friends and workplace don't know. So there, I told you all. What's worse is we're trying to have a baby! I could be pregnant RIGHT NOW, for all I know :( I need to stop. So I'm adding "quit smoking" to my goals. What I hate is that I even have to say that. I hadn't had a cigarette in YEARS. Crap.

Here, I took pictures:

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    We have no such thing as gourmet pizza here. Good thing - it looks delicious. Being the pig that I am, I would want to try them ALL!! I could pass on the Subway as well. People in my area love it. We have 3 in a town of 15,500. Chips and cookies are really hard for me to avoid. Sounds like our typical work parties - nothing healthy to speak of. LOL. My last boss actually served healthy food but it was horrible healthy food. LOL.

    Yes, you must quit smoking! Confessing will make it easier. I use to smoke too and as a nurse I knew better. I finally learned to exercise to relieve stress. It works.
    1151 days ago
    How in the world did you manage to avoid all of that?!? See, it's because of this that I just KNOW you will be able to quit smoking and lose the weight. You've got WILL POWER girl, something that is HUGE when it comes to this! Give yourself a pat on the back!!! And quick, go treat yourself to a pani/pedi! emoticon
    Knowing that you were able to stick to your guns with all of this temptation in your face should give you the encouragement to do it again the next time you are faced with these tough choices. You definitely inspired me!

    I have no doubt you will reach all of your goals!! Keep with it!! GREAT JOB!!!

    emoticon emoticon m emoticon emoticon emoticon m
    1152 days ago
  • KANOE10
    Good for you not giving in to that monster lunch. I have had the same thing at work..luncheons where absolutely nothing is healthy. You were wise to eat healthy food before the lunch! I am sorry about your headache.hope you feel better.

    Be proud of yourself. You stayed on track. When you are ready you will attack the smoking again.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1153 days ago
    Great job on finding an alternative to the pizza! I can just imagine how hard that was because those pies look good.

    I never smoked but my sister and brother do so I can understand how hard a habit it is to break. I went through 2 miscarriages before we had our first so I know it's not an easy thing to go through but the smoking could most definitely have an impact not just on your health but also you husband's ability to have viable swimmers. We went through all kinds of testing and were told that we wouldn't be able to have kids on our own because of my husband's low count but you know what, we ended up with 3 kids! All on our own, so keep the faith, it'll happen for you. In the meantime do whatever it takes for your health, your husband's health and your future family's health. You can do it!
    1153 days ago
    YAY for not giving in to the pizza.

    Boooo to smoking! (I have asthma, my husband smokes - I've established a 10 ft radius, he can't get smoke into my circle. Mostly works.)

    And, well, you know what to do.
    1153 days ago
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