Thursday, August 01, 2013
Despite striving to be a reasonable, sensible person worth her salt.........I'm writing tonight to admit a fault: I HATE NEW EXERCISES. *sigh* I'm not proud to admit that in the midst of my discomfort I threw a fit this evening. At the gym. (Oh yeah. That just happened.)
My awesome husband and I decided that after a month of regularly exercising and eating better, we were ready to dedicate 2 times a week for some strength training. This is mostly unfamiliar territory for me. I've never been comfortable hanging out with the Schwarzenegger-looking types benching the equivalent to my body weight as I struggle with 20 pounds. Tonight was even more challenging as we decided to do abs. (I have a core?? Umm...where?)
Long story short, I couldn't quite put into play what my husband was instructing me to do and I freaked out. Thankfully he's amazing and still took me home afterwards and gave me hugs and let me cry and explain the things going on in my head. I thank God for him every single day.
When I couldn't do what he was having me do, the nasty thoughts started up. I'm sure you know the ones......"You are an embarrassment." "Why are you trying to do this? You already know you can't." "You should be ashamed of yourself for being so out of shape." "You're fat, ugly, and stupid." And in the heat of the moment, I believed ALL of that crap and was frustrated that I am below the basic level of ab workouts. And then my love said this:
EVERYONE HAS TO START SOMEWHERE.
Truth. Kind truth. And it honestly wasn't what I wanted to hear because it didn't give me an excuse to give up. Don't get me wrong I'm glad for it now, and for the 20 minutes that I stuck with it tonight.
I wanted to share this not only to show that I'm just as fallible as the rest, but to encourage whoever reads this to press on. This is NOT an easy journey but don't let the nasty things in your thoughts win because they're not true. Each and every one of us is valuable and worth the time, sweat, and tears. And with each step we get stronger - not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.