I like to read a lot of different websites, from the ridiculous Hollywood gossip to literary to everything in between.
I found this great article today on XOJane.com, and while I wouldn't tell someone to SHUT UP about talking about how much their body sucks, I kind of agree that this way women bond is toxic and unhelpful.
"The effect negative self-talk has on us over time is so obviously corrosive that I think it should be treated as any other wildly unhealthy habit. We take great pains to hide so many self-destructive behaviors (eating disorders, drug addictions, self injury, etc) but this one is not only accepted but often encouraged by our peers."
I say all kinds of horrible stuff about my body, and as of RIGHT NOW, I'm not saying it out loud anymore. I'm going to try to stop thinking like it too, but BABY STEPS.
I already know I can't HATE myself into changing, I'll only rebel and self-sabotage which will fuel more self-hate.
Practicing radical self-acceptance means that I accept myself 100% right now, an aging fat woman with inconsistent effort at living a healthy lifestyle. I am not waiting to be the right weight or shape to accept myself. Does this mean I'm going to not make efforts to be healthy, strong and fit? Heck no! I'm not accepting myself so I can let myself off the hook and go to town on oreos.
I'm accepting myself so I DON'T go to town on oreos.
Acceptance is the kindest most compassionate thing we can give other people -- so many of my friends told me that one of the things they love about me is that I just take them as they are, warts and all, and love them and tell them they're okay. Don't I deserve this from myself, too??
So for today, as I try to create healthier habits and let go of self-destructive behavior, I also promise myself to let go of the self-destructive behavior of talking smack about my body. I'm a work in progress, and this journey is about progress, not perfection.
This body does amazing things: it makes music, it loves, it dances, it breathes without me thinking about it, it craves red meat sometimes, and it is round and soft and jiggly and has hairy big toe knuckles and blonde eyelashes. It loves being in the ocean. It moves to music without even thinking about it. It's pretty awesome.
If I were talking to my best friend, I would never say, "OMG your thighs are the size of an elephant's and your ass is huge and you look like the Buddha and your backfat needs a B-cup bra and let's name your lower abdominal roll of fat "The Awning" because everything under it is in the shade!" I have said all of this stuff to myself or to others in a joking manner as a knee-jerk defensive maneuver. I am such a Mean Girl to myself!
Not today. Not anymore.
I may still think it, but I'm not going to say it out loud anymore, I'm not going to make it okay to joke about my body, I'm just taking my body out of possible topics of conversation.
There are so many more interesting things to talk about! Like Argan Oil!