Wednesday, July 31, 2013
If you had told me eight months ago that I would be where I am today, I probably would have fallen over in a fit of laughter. I was living a very sedentary life. Little activity, unhappy with my body, in pain constantly. I feel like I'm awake for the first time in years, about ten years to be exact.
Today I have realized that I have to do a better job of tracking my food every day. I might be eating all good foods, but recipes are not created for losing weight in the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. Just because something is healthy doesn't mean that I can eat as much as I want to eat.
But at the same time, I'm more than half way to my goal weight. Now I expect that my goal weight will change because I'm not going to be happy with 184 pounds, but that is how much I weighed when I hurt my back, when my doctor called me fat and when my struggle with food really started. It is also the last time I remember feeling fat and now realize that I wasn't. I just want to get back to that weight. I have abused my body long enough. Now it's time to take care of it, and make me the priority in my life. Reaching this goal would mean a loss of 116 lbs. That number is something I never imagined I could get to, but I woke up this morning and realized I'm more than half way there. Of course I can do this!
Plus I have the best support system around me. I even have gotten my trainer new clients, and people are asking me what they should and should not eat. I'm not an expert, but this is what works for me. Someday I might be able to sit down and eat a piece of pizza or a reese's cup and feel satisfied, but right now, my restrictions are just that, mine. It might not work for everyone. There are a number of people at work who I know will be happy for me when I tell them about my weight loss, or who will comment when I wear a smaller size. It feels amazing.
On a side note, I spent three years in a terrible job. Don't do it! If you are unhappy, make a change to be happy or get out of the job. Those three years were terrible for my health, for my depression, for my weight, and for my mental health. I made some friends, had some great days and really enjoyed what I was doing, but there were some very toxic parts of the environment that just weren't right. I was bullied by a colleague without any intervention from the leadership, I was belittled by supervisors and when I finally had a supervisor I loved and felt was helping me be better, the supervisors changed again. I can't say that I wouldn't do the job again because I did meet good people and learned good lessons from the experience, but I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone else. So, if you are in this kind of situation, I encourage you to see what you can do to change your job so you love it, or get out.
Enough negative stuff. I'm so thankful for my current job and colleagues. They are amazing, supportive, encouraging and hilarious. I love them!
I had a busy weekend too...I made mustard! I know, crazy right and it's actually kind of good. I made an all natural salad dressing with parsley, butternut squash baked fries, baked acorn squash, blueberry muffings and guacamole. I'm trying hard this week to eat more veggies and less fruits. So far my stomach is feeling better, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Looking back over the past seven months is so weird. I've learned a lot about what I'm capable of accomplishing, I have completed three walking events with more on the horizon, I'm working out more days of the month than not, and with the help of SP I'm pushing myself farther and farther in the gym and in life. Every month I want to earn more points, accumulate more fitness minutes and all of that is making me a better me! I love it!
Thanks for reading this and your support as well!